Cocaine, Thor, and a Meteorite

First, I have to address something; I have been calling the character Shakira the wrong name this whole time. I misheard Gaia for Shakira, not sure how that happened but if you were confused, all two of you reading these, I am sorry.


(Dramatic music fades in, loud pulsing drumbeat, tuba and trombone join in, string section plays a sweet melody, Kenny G and Chuck Mangione trade playing leads, and piano solo by Paul Williams) Last time on the Almighty Johnsons; the mystery of how Axl and Zeb pay for their rent is still not addressed, Anders is a condescending creepy douchebag, Mike is still the Leonardo/Fun vacuum of the bunch, Olaf is a bad dad and rude dude, Ty and Dawn (Anders’ assistant) have a cute budding romance, and the goddesses, the most interesting part of the show, are slowly getting more screen time finally. In case you forgot who’s who; Axl is Odin, Mike is Ullr, Anders is Bragi, Olaf is Baldr, Ty is Hoor, Zeb is irritating and Gaia and Dawn are human (music fades out).


Episode 5, “This is Not Washing Powder, My Friend,” opens with Axl, Gaia, and Zeb cleaning their flat. It’s a cartoony mess like the whole floor is covered in clothes, food, trash, and other things to the point where it’s impossible to live there comfortably. Gaia’s dad is visiting. He’s a gay, vegetarian hippie. Zeb and Axl make gay and vegetarian jokes that aren’t necessary. The gay jokes aren’t outright homophobic but still it adds nothing. They clean up. Gaia goes to work because she’s the only one with a job. Axl has a doctor’s appointment with a Dr. Grey. Turns out it’s a setup by the goddesses, namely Michele who is also a doctor. Axl goes, there is no Dr. Grey. He leaves angry and throws away the letter from the hospital, stupid move. Axl and Zeb are at the drive thru and going through assorted change in Axl’s car. Zeb finds a bag of high quality cocaine. He decides for the both of them to sell it. They assume it’s Anders’ because that makes perfect sense. Spoiler Alert it isn’t. It was Michele’s plan to stop Axl from finding Frigg. Things escalated very quickly. Also Anders suggests going to churches to find his prize aka Frigg, which happens in the next episode.


Axl goes back home. Gaia is cooking a vegetarian meal which he has a problem with it because he’s an asshole. Gaia’s dad and Axl argue over stupid stuff that doesn’t matter. Police burst in, looking for the coke, they find weed instead and arrest Gaia’s dad. Axl tells them about the hospital visit but since he has no hospital letter they don’t believe him. Gaia’s angry. Mike doesn’t believe Axl about the drugs. Anders figures out the goddesses are behind this. He has a plan: get Ty to identify the goddess at the hospital and plant the drugs on her. Anders and Ty identify Michele immediately at the hospital. Zeb got screwed out of the coke by two young performance artists. Axl tracks down Zeb and raids the home of the young artsy dudes. He beheads a mannequin and takes the drugs. Axl and Zeb try to sneak into the hospital in a not sneaky way but Anders stops them. He plants the drugs on Michelle and flirts with her. She plays along with it. Oh yea, Gaia might leave the whole time but she doesn’t and Axl almost kinda tells her how he feels for her which keeps her there. He talks for her a lot in this one which got irritating fast and her character has barely developed into anything so far; end of Episode 5.


Episode 6, “Goddesses, Axl, Come in All Forms,” opens with an older woman outside a small farmhouse. She stares deeply and meaningfully into a beautiful night sky. A large man in the background holding a hammer (hint) tries to get her but a meteorite crashes through the night sky aimed straight for the woman. It’s a direct hit. Nothing is left. Olaf wakes in a sweat and tells his grandsons/cousins. Ty and Mike have lives to live and skip it. They arrive as two of the goddesses show up, Michele aka Sjofn, goddess of love, and Ingrid aka Snotra, goddess of wisdom. Finally they meet. Olaf and Ingrid instantly click with each other. Anders and Michele not really but he’s trying to bang her regardless. They spot the possible Frigg. The game is on. During the church service the possible Frigg cries during a eulogy, a sign of Frigg was a woman weeping. It’s a funeral for her grandmother. It’s a stretch to say it’s Frigg. Back in the city, Ty and Dawn are hanging out a bunch and she assumes he’s gay. Anders told her Ty is gay as a (not) funny joke because Anders is terrible. Ty asks Mike for women advice and Mike doesn’t have good advice of course.


At the funeral Olaf and Ingrid detect something off about this large man tenderizing chunks of meat. They suspect he’s Thor. Olaf and Ingrid approach and ask the dude. He proudly says yes. This isn’t good. Axl, Anders, and Michele are trying to woo the possible Frigg. Ingrid and Olaf pull them away and warn them that Thor is here. Thor is like Solomon Grundy or King Shark, a big dumb guy that’s insane. Everyone but Axl is scared. He’ll learn soon enough. Ty tells Dawn how he feels and she feels the same way. It’s really adorable. They have sex in Anders bed while he’s at the funeral. Mike is barely in this one. Back to Thor; Thor introduces himself to the gods and goddesses. He laughs a hardy, loud laugh when he learns that Axl is Odin then kneels before him. Axl proves himself by out throwing hammers with him and killing one of his goats. He has an ‘ugly’ daughter named Delphine, (she’s cute, they really rag on her for looking not like a model), who might be Frigg. Spoiler Alert she isn’t. Thor kicks out the other gods so that Axl can have his way with Delphine. Thor traps Axl there until he woos her. She’s pregnant and finds Axl ugly. She’s in love with another man, Ross aka the baby daddy. Delphine confronts her dad after Axl convinces her to. They leave. Thor punches Anders in the face. It’s great; end of Episode 6.


These episodes were my favorites so far for a few reasons. Mike is barely in them, so he isn’t sucking the fun out of everything. Side note, he’s the god of skiing and games and still the boring one somehow. Ty and Dawn flirting and hanging out is delightful and fun a la Mulder and Scully. Their chemistry for me really works. It feels authentic and real. Thor was pretty fun. Delphine is cute, they make it seem like she’s the ugliest creature to walk the earth but they’re wrong. I didn’t enjoy Axl with these he got a little too stupid and childish. He’s 21 not 12. His mentality felt like he’s in middle school. It’s grating after a while. My opinion stands however; I don’t know if I like this show but it’s very watchable. I want more of Michele, Thor, and the goddesses. Anders is a creep. Next up we have Episode 7, “Bad Things Happen,” and Episode 8, “I Can Give You Frigg.”

Spencer is a fiction writer that loves comedy, movies, old TV and movies, and other things most people don't care about.

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