Chris: Alright you fucking millennials, turn off your Tiktoks, put down that vape pen, and close the Instawhatever update on this week’s newest gender pronouns. Uncle Chris is here to tell you a story about ancient history. How ancient, you ask? This story is about a time so long ago that not only does it
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The Replicator “saga” kicks into high gear with “Carbon Copy”, a case about a guy killing nurses and removing their eyelids…replicating the very signature of the blood painting guy from last episode. Zugs get zwanged, Scott Grimes shows up and Criminal Minds proves that the wrongly accused are just criminals that haven’t committed crimes yet.
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Leap into Season 8 with “Magnum Opus”, an episode about Reid grieving his fake phone girlfriend getting real murdered by Dawn from Buffy the best way he knows how: by solving a serial case that may or may not involve a vampire. All the team knows is somebody in San Francisco is killing people, draining
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To Season 7 we go with “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”, which is about a mass suicide at a military academy run by the guy who played Odo on Star Trek. There’s some bullying involved, but surprisingly no child molestation, so credit to Criminal Minds. This one is loose so buckle in!
Bustin’ makes me feel vaguely depressed! Ronnie and Jazz suffer through the fifth Ghostbusters movie, which has like five jokes in it. Why is there a talking ghost girl, and why are the ramifications of that swept aside in favor of an undercooked lesbian coming of age subplot? Does Bill Murray actively want to die
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