It came to my attention (read: an errant thought while hungover, staring at the ceiling) that this horror column has yet to cover a terrible sequel to a beloved classic. Carrie is one of the very best Stephen King adaptations, though that’s not saying much considering the likes of Dreamcatcher, Thinner, Secret Window, Under the
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Did you know?: Before Law & Order, Dann Florek lived in the Galapagos. There’s an inherent problem with Law & Order: Special Victims Unit addressing specific issues in an episode. The show is awful at original stories, and the “ripped from the headlines” formula especially grates when they decide to try out something completely unrelated
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It’s important to address Halloween when doing horror columns in October. After all, without it there’d be no connotations between the month and the genre. Divorced from Halloween, October is when a bunch of fucking teams you hate advancing in the MLB playoffs and increasingly irritating weather (woo Wisconsin!). When it came to choose a
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Note: I’m single, ladies. Special Victims Unit often likes to take complex issues with no easy answer and turn them into garbage. Why not? There’s nothing saying the show has to be good; it just has to satisfy the war criminals at General Electric. As long as the ratings remain tolerable, which in the Frank’s
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I originally meant to write about the 1985 creature feature Ghoulies, which answered the question on America’s lips at the time: “what if Gremlins looked like garbage?” and serves as the screen debut for Mariska Hargitay. It’s terrible, a “horror-comedy” that instead means “cheap looking and irritating”. Then life interceded in a manner I thought
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