Beth: DAT BONNET

Lee: HOOP SKIRTS GALORE

Chrissy: Can I have some Hats with my Hats?

 Beth: hahaha why is there not a ladies carriage race in every version?!?

Chrissy: right?!?! I would fall out at that speed.

Beth: yesss quadrilles

Lee: Pornstache alert

Beth: he just bowed right over her cleavage…which is in line with Wickham, actually.

Chrissy: New Drinking game! Drink every time he bows into her cleavage!

Beth: Caroline brought the disco

Sarah: Gimmie that sparkly cape!

 Beth: Oh man so much hot cravat action

Sarah: Ginger Bingley 4ever

Beth: Too bad Charlotte Lucas is SUCH A HAG

Lee: Silly girl, no turtle soup until he puts a ring on it!

Chrissy: Why are their parents always trying to kill them?

 Beth: Thank god Jane remembered her enormous bonnet

Sarah: SICK BONNETS FOR EVERYONE

Beth: Do you mind I’m trying to read

Lee: *flips page furiously*

Beth: She’s gonna garrote him with that harp string.

Lee: WANT THAT SWINGSET

Beth: Mansplaining

Lee: Lizzy you sassy lady, you know just how to handle those arrows

Beth: He’s going to give her the bullseye if you know what I mean

 Lee: Mary, give the other girls a chance to caterwaul

 Lee: I think Puddingface totally wants to dance with you

Beth: Lizzy’s exuberance for Bows is impressive

Lee: “oh pish posh we can definitely fit another bow on this”

 Sarah: I thought this was good news so I opened it…

Beth: I can’t believe that HAG Charlotte Lucas got a husband!

Lee: Pantaloons!

Beth: Is there an anecdote about closets in this version?

Lee: seriously this is SO MANY LAYERS OF DRESS

Beth: discourages relations

Beth: Why the long face? (I’m sorry)

Lee: Because Puddingface

 Everyone: KILTS!!!

Beth: Oh come on I need Colonel Fitzwilliam to be a hottie

Beth: The smaller the hairbow the more homely the lady

 Lee: Are the hats getting bigger?

Beth: Oh the polka dots own my heart

 Beth: The Hustler Regency…Caroline that felt is coming out of your pin money

 Lee: OMG THE HAT IS ALIVE

Chrissy: Everything got bigger!

Beth: The Hat That Ate Meryton

Beth: I need a bronze deer for my yard

Lee: make sure you put it down right in the forefront of every pic

Beth: Yeah if I’m paying for it I’m getting my money’s worth

Beth: MACKING!

Lee: She hit the note! That’s all folks!

G.g. Launchbaugh I can’t see Hannibal driving a chevy pickup, that’s just ridiculous.

Kip Reed The Hannies I fell in love with would have color coordinated with that truck.

Ronnie Gardocki Truly, Anthony Hopkins is a man of a thousand hats

Brian Auron Scotch and Cheez-Its. Best way to obsess over something.

Brian Skinner She needs to stop listening to Hannibal’s Pandora station

Brian Skinner That’s probably sparkling pear juice – she so sensible

Kip Reed For someone that lives in utter fear of Hannibal coming back for her, she really goes lax on the security

Ronnie Gardocki This is like jazz: you have to think of the scenes this DOESN’T have. Ridley Scott’s opposed to typical desires to include “interesting scenes” in a film

Brian Skinner …I touched your left boob while you slept

Chris Jones Hannibal Lecter: Gadget Man.

Jody Skinner “Clarice – I was in your house – and I hope you feel threatened because next I’m going to – PLEASE DEPOSIT TEN CENTS”

Ronnie Gardocki “Old man prank phone calls Julianne Moore”

Brian Skinner I always feel like some cannibals watching me

Jody Skinner “…ain’t got no privacy, oh-woh-oh”

Ronnie Gardocki Jesus Christ, Hopkins, just read her fucking livejournal and jerk off, stop wasting people’s time

G.g. Launchbaugh She’s got him monologing

Brian Skinner Kill the trumpet guy

Brian Auron This is the weirdest place on earth. Shops, string quartets, trains, cannibals… It’s got everything.

Ronnie Gardocki “Clarice, are you looking forward to the next season of Orange is the New Black?”

Brian Skinner Please never stop monologuing – every word is genius

Kip Reed “Hannibal do you just want to fuck and get this over with or what?”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Not until I know for sure you aren’t the sister that the Nazis fed me

G.g. Launchbaugh wouldn’t Marco Polo be a classier way of him doing that?

Kip Reed Electricity! My oldest enemy..

Kip Reed Where’s my money bitch! SHARK TOOTH WANTS HIS MONEY!

Brian Skinner Did he respond with ‘ba-bing”?

G.g. Launchbaugh That guy is too fat for Hannibal to eat, bad for the heart.

Ronnie Gardocki They did the unthinkable: THEY SUBDUED AN OLD MAN

Ronnie Gardocki FBI Agent: “This sucks. MY personal super villain is James O’Keefe…”

Kip Reed You’re going home where those pig murderers know exactly where you live. The place with no security, go there and wait for the movie to come back to you.

G.g. Launchbaugh what a high security gate!

Kip Reed skills: Using car as lockpick

Chris Jones Where we’re going, we don’t need roads…

Brian Auron Car > Cow… for now

Jody Skinner Who let da hogs out? Who – who – who – who?

G.g. Launchbaugh He loves those pigs

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Finally, Pajamas

G.g. Launchbaugh oh classical music- this is to let us know he’s a monster too!

Brian Skinner Cart vs wheelchair!!

Brian Auron Gary Oldman googled “Hannibal Lecter feet”

Ronnie Gardocki Oh, he’s being wheeled in because Silence of the Lambs was a movie people enjoyed!

Brian Skinner Papa always said start with the feet

Ronnie Gardocki I think Hopkins is already bored in this kidnapping situation

Kip Reed oh oh oh..uhh man.. I wanna say Jason? Is it Jason? I am sorry I am horrible with….faces.

Ronnie Gardocki My friend thinks Hannibal is a “nice guy”, whereas I believe him to be Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character in Happiness

Jody Skinner I thought I saw a post by Phillip Seymour Hoffman and got excited.

Ronnie Gardocki “Yeah, yeah, you don’t have a face, you want to kill me, can I GET SOME MALBEC MAYBE?”

Kip Reed Jesus Judas whats next Timothy’s failure on the road to Paul? Am I right folks?

Chris Jones He tried to kill him with a forklift…

Brian Auron They wouldn’t let Ridley Scott put Hannibal in a big, yellow, cranebot. That’s what’s really missing from this movie.

Jody Skinner I want the forklift to go backward while Hannies goes “meep! meep! meep!”

Brian Skinner I bet Hannibal dies here…I bet Hannibal dyes his hair.

Ronnie Gardocki If the credits don’t say “special thanks to Michael Vick” for location shooting, I’ll eat one of Anthony Hopkins’ identity obscuring hats

Brian Auron That is the longest codeword to get pigs to eat human flesh I’ve ever heard.

Kip Reed are…are the pigs speaking Italian?

Brian Skinner Kip no one speaks Italian in this movie

Jody Skinner The hogs also smell of ambergris

Chris Jones Eat your heart out, B. F. Skinner…

Brian Skinner The pigs hate this 1Direction tape

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast didn’t you hear I won a Guinness world record for killing bitches like you

Kip Reed Oh she got me right in the fat!

Ronnie Gardocki “I need to save this monster man from dying because… fuck it, WHATEVER”

Brian Skinner Like old times when you saved me from pigs

Brian Skinner Jody – this pig scene makes for a romantic evening

Brian Auron Hannies getting tased: 30 seconds of downtime…Clarice getting winged in the shoulder: four hours of downtime

Kip Reed I am pretty sure that fall would have fucking turned him into dust

Brian Skinner The hero of the movie – Cordell

G.g. Launchbaugh just like with T rex, the pigs can’t see you if you don’t move

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast shouldn’t have ordered the henchmen override wheelchair

Brian Skinner Papa always said that wheelchairs make a man vulnerable to killer pigs

Brian Auron Even this guy’s car is douchey.

G.g. Launchbaugh oh he drives a Porsche, yep, totally don’t care if he dies

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast heh heh are there boobs in here

G.g. Launchbaugh but I live alone and only eat TV dinners?

Jody Skinner And behind door #2……………

Kip Reed Hannies is deadly with that rag

Brian Skinner I like that to make Hopkins dangerous people have to get in really close range

Chris Jones Man, I had the craziest dream…

Brian Auron “Hannies, did you change me?”

“Yessss, Clarice.”

“How come I don’t have any underwear on?”

G.g. Launchbaugh women love it when you dress them after you drug them, right?

Ronnie Gardocki He DIDN’T rape her, because come on, serial killer cannibals who off people based on playing the flute unsatisfactorily have SOME standards

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast well he’s not RUDE

Jody Skinner What’s sore, Clarice?

Brian Auron #boobs

Brian Skinner #sideboobwich

Ronnie Gardocki “Clarice…I’ve set up Chutes and Ladders for us to play”

Chris Jones He really should be wearing an apron…

Kip Reed thanks for stitching the shoulder up.. but the tramp stamp HANNIES PROPERTY.. I don’t think that was necessary

Ronnie Gardocki “There’s so much more strategic thinking, Clarice!”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast They could have the best game of scrabble ever…Think about it.

Jody Skinner He’s serving – The Remains of the Day

Brian Skinner This requires a suspension of belief that he had a brain to begin with

G.g. Launchbaugh I always wanted to watch you eat? oh he’s a charmer!

Ronnie Gardocki Oh, that lovable scamp Hannibal, ripping out parts of Ray Liotta’s brain and cooking them because he was a dick in the one or two scenes of “characterization” Hannibal deigned to have

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast drinking the broth will marinate your brain

G.g. Launchbaugh should have gone with a Man with two brains style screw top lid

Brian Auron It’s fine, I saw them do something like this in Temple of Doom

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast it’s free range brain

Brian Skinner Which part of the brain is umami?

Brian Auron #innersideboobwich

Brian Skinner Worst fetish ever

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast You should be resting in your low cut dress

Kip Reed Come on Clarice it’s a god damn butter knife, what are you going to do spread me to death

Kip Reed what’s weird is how fake the brain CGI looks but how great the fully CGI Anthony Hopkins is

Chris Jones Iron Chef is getting really hardcore…

Ronnie Gardocki Dom DeLuise’s Silence of the Hams had less ham than Hopkins’ performance

Brian Skinner #brainwich

G.g. Launchbaugh mmmm I’m delicious!

Ronnie Gardocki This movie has done the unthinkable: made me not enjoy Ray Liotta being abused

Jody Skinner Surprisingly, it tasted overcooked and artsy fartsy

Kip Reed Sarge I don’t want to bitch but we’ve been driving over this same bridge for twenty minutes.. we are lost.

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast but Paul was the only one who ate!

Brian Skinner Paul seems smarter now honestly… I hope his last words are “are you queer?”

Jody Skinner Frigidaire, meet Tresseme

Brian Auron Breaking off the handle as a locking mechanism sounds totally legit.

Chris Jones Vegetarian Times on the fridge. How droll…

Kip Reed OH FUCK YOU MOVIE..vegetarian times…FUCK YOU

Jody Skinner As if they have the protein intake to write newsletters

Ronnie Gardocki “We’re not so different, Clarice. Except for the fact that you’re a law abiding citizen who only kills in a professional capacity when totally necessary, whereas I eat people who inconvenience me”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast NOPE

Ronnie Gardocki Goddamn, just set up a fucking OKCupid account, Lecter

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Gonna get clinatro all over your stump

Kip Reed remember when you saved his life because of your moral code? Hope that moral code can pick up a fork or open a door.

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast so that dramatic “ow” was NOTHING BUT LIES

Brian Skinner More like Handible

Chris Jones Show me your hands… Heh.

Brian Skinner Clarice never wears a dress! Shoot that impostor!

Kip Reed pre 9/11 cannibals could just get on international flights like no big deal.

Ronnie Gardocki I’d love it if Hopkins only drank shitty $6 supermarket wine, and tried to justify it. “Look at the penguin on the label!”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast He’s flying COACH, the horror

Ronnie Gardocki I’m happy to find out latter day Hopkins is just as irritating and terrible as James Purefoy in the Emmy Award winning The Following

Brian Skinner Mister why do you eat like a gimp?

Kip Reed a young Jeffery Dahmer meets Hannibal histories untold stories!

Jody Skinner He’d be ok with what Justin Timberlake would put in that box

Brian Skinner Unusual = Asian

Jody Skinner Asians have been treated so well the whole movie

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast This kid has the worst mom ever

Brian Skinner The old feed the Asian kid brain food ending

Ronnie Gardocki Oh FUCK YOU ending on his goddamn eye

Brian Skinner Have his eyes turn yellow then we hearing laughing and howling

Brian Auron Fade to black aaaaaand WINK!

Chris Jones Can’t wait for the catering credit…

Jody Skinner Post critique: too much gratuitous pajamas

Brian Skinner Hey ending – fuck you

Ronnie Gardocki “HANNIBAL WILL RETURN IN: some stupid garbage”

Jody Skinner Pun time! That movie was hogwash

Brian Auron This movie was so anti-Italian it’s-a not-a even-a funny, capisce?

Brian Skinner Some of this movie was so ridiculous I laughed my face off

Jody Skinner M Night Shymalan, you did it again!!!

Brian Skinner If Netflix recommended Face-Off after that movie I would have lost my mind

Jody Skinner Dear Clarice, I wax eloquent to make up for the gentleman who uses such crass terms as ‘corn pone’. I shall brainwash him anon

Kip Reed Winners: Barney, Bolton, and Cornell (not eaten). That crack dealing baby who was the brains of Elvera’s whole outfit, Ridley Scotts racist tendency, and Gucci (so much product placement) Losers: the Italians…all of em, Judas Iscariot, Meatless brain substitute, the TSA, bros, Pig murderers, the fbi website, and finally… art in all its forms. FUCK you movie.

Kip Reed everyone has curly hair and is a god damn model

Jody Skinner Sayid from Lost had it coming

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast That guy is leaking Kool Aid

Jody Skinner I haven’t seen gushing like that since xnxx

Brian Skinner So many busts in this movie but nothing sexy

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast why is he wearing a suit, if I was that guy It would be pajamas for life

Ronnie Gardocki Oh cool, Gary Oldman’s in the movie, and he looks like the Jigsaw doll in the Saw movies

Brian Skinner Check out this cat video Mr Verger

Kip Reed Bingo… what does the computer screen say I can’t really see.. at all.

Kip Reed the crypt keeper: the early years

Brian Auron I call him HANNIBAL the… CANNIBAL EH HEH HEH HEH!

(Sir, that’s the original joke)

OH, oh, ok. He’s going to have a FRIEND… for DINNER! EEE HEHEHEHEHEHE!

(That, too, sir.)

Wow, really? Ok. I’ll keep working on it.

Brian Skinner Shoes before shirt – dressing Italian style – Italian Style Dressing if you will

Brian Auron I put my shoes on in my underwear, too! Maybe I’m Italian?

G.g. Launchbaugh boy this is certainly advancing the plot.

Ronnie Gardocki I feel like if this movie’s about anything, it’s about characters wasting the time of other characters

Brian Skinner This artsy fartsy stuff seems a bit … You know

Jody Skinner Finally. The Liotta brain opera we’ve all been waiting for

Kip Reed this opera is so beautiful… hopefully it stays super unominus

Chris Jones Finger sandwich?

Brian Skinner Where is the fat lady? She’d probably be delicious

G.g. Launchbaugh I like you, I’ll eat you last

Kip Reed it’s super progressive he’s married to a skeleton, in the south that shit would not fly.

Jody Skinner I’m getting turned on by the sheer amount of forehead being shown

Brian Skinner She’s so charmed by this old sack of mashed potatoes posing as a dangerous intellectual

G.g. Launchbaugh ah the glories of windows 3.1 !

Chris Jones fbi.net? Are they running an isp?

Ronnie Gardocki Hannibal’s gonna be jerking off to the best porn Compuserve provides, pissed off that the pick up line “you are what you eat…and I wanna be you” bombed

Brian Skinner Imagine if they had access to the power of the Almighty Cloud?

Jody Skinner Mac books and font Geneva

Chris Jones Are you interested in changing your long distance provider?

Brian Auron I’v-a already got-a my cigarette-a lit, whaddaya wamme ta do?

Kip Reed Jez Agent.. it’s 1:30pm we are wrapping up the day here.

Brian Skinner He’s a-gone-a-home-a

Kip Reed are you sure you haven’t sold his location to pig murderers?

Brian Skinner Europeans smoke – this movie is accurate

Brian Skinner No speaky English – except all the time

Kip Reed I prefer to stay involved.. so I can get a cool movie death.

Kip Reed Go for pig murderers

Jody Skinner It’s-a me, Mario!

Brian Skinner Finally since non stereotype italians

Kip Reed well I totally have put my faith in two hicks from the backwoods of nowhere…this shit should work out

Ronnie Gardocki “I need to prove my intellectual superiority before I eat someone”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast That tie is the most terrifying thing in this scene

Ronnie Gardocki Hannibal’s basically an Image Comics version of a one-off foil to Frasier on a mediocre episode of Cheers

Brian Skinner He wakes up and plans each day’s foreshadowing meticulously

Kip Reed odd because I am pretty sure I just ate your wife…JUDAS!

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast I’ll be a minute gathering my things, you’ll be forever gathering your guts

Ronnie Gardocki This is the worst last night of drinking ever. Or should I say it’s a bottle of Chianti with a side of INCIDENTAL CHARACTER I KILLED, CHOPPED UP AND TURNED INTO EDIBLE MEAT

Kip Reed this blinking system could change the language game as we know it

Jody Skinner Suddenly he resembles Rodney Dangerfield.

Brian Skinner Duct tape – is there anything you can’t do?

G.g. Launchbaugh buffy’s tavern, 8 ball speaking

Brian Skinner She don’t care because she’s got spunk

Kip Reed No this is Janet from… not the FBI..

Brian Auron “Dr. Lecter, I’ve spent the movie so far proving how many more balls I have than my male coworkers, so I SAY YOU AGIN, SAY YOU ME IS HE DAY-YED!?”

Ronnie Gardocki If Hannibal was from Kentucky no one would like the character

Jody Skinner Not even with 13 original spices

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Let me clarify doctor….calling you when you’re on the can is an awkward moment. Not when you’re about to disembowel a dude

Chris Jones Hoist by his own petard…

Brian Skinner This better not be the end of the Italian stereotypes in this movie

Jody Skinner How’s it hangin’?

G.g. Launchbaugh oh that’s just offal

Brian Skinner Fuck you G.g.

Kip Reed Ridley Scott gets the Italian and Japanese in one shot! Nailed’em!

Ronnie Gardocki I like how Italy is basically a city block at Universal Studios in this movie

Brian Skinner You don’t see that everyday in Osaka

Kip Reed yeah see the guts stand for society and the phone stands for progress and society dumps on progress but it’s like you just can’t hang around man

Brian Auron The crowd stands for Hannibal, consuming the whole affair, while Hannibal, oddly enough, stands for academia.

Brian Auron Enhance… *typing*…Enhance… *typing*… Enhance…

Kip Reed Everyone always hikes Runyan Cannon (LOCAL JOKES!)

G.g. Launchbaugh Run Clarice Run!

Brian Auron “Do you think Hannibal will like my Jason Cosplay?”

Kip Reed the mask definitely draws the eye

Brian Skinner This reminds me of the movie Mask

Ronnie Gardocki This week: Hannibal fights the dastardly villain PARAPLEGO

Brian Skinner Looks like Verger really lost face with that failed plan

Jody Skinner Mr Verger just put pop rocks on a can of soda. The “eat my face” thing was made up.

Ronnie Gardocki “Look, Gary Oldman, pose rhetorical questions all you like, I still need to get at that bedpan”

Brian Skinner I’m sorry I can’t concentrate on your words because you know … your face.

Kip Reed MORE KHAKI! MORE!

Jody Skinner Inner lip-smackin’ good!

Ronnie Gardocki In the sequel, Hannibal has to push a blind man down the stairs

Brian Skinner Oh come on costuming director

Brian Auron How much more WASPy can Ray Liotta get?

Jody Skinner Corn pone pussy or straight arrow!? Make up your mind while you still have it Liotta

Kip Reed Miss Starling no evidence leads to any proof but you’re a woman so you will shut up in this office.

Brian Auron “Clarice, you’re obviously boffing Hannibal. Who is a queer. I can tell, ‘cuz he likes artsy fartsy. Ignore my short white shorts.”

Jody Skinner Philastines? You mean Philistines? Hannibal didn’t write it

Kip Reed I am starting to think the FBI is bullshit

Brian Skinner The evidence is that you’re a woman wearing pants

G.g. Launchbaugh I wonder if Krender will be made into a Cruller?

Ronnie Gardocki The fucking X-Files did a better job of showing the FBI of not consisting of 3 people

G.g. Launchbaugh dogs watching TV- now that’s entertainment

Brian Skinner Dogs hate cannibals – Google it

Jody Skinner That’s it. The German shepherd dies too. Who speaks better Italian than all y’all.

Kip Reed you see Rover is good boy, not rude.. not rude. Please..

Brian Auron I simply must have a clock. I’m all artsy-fartsy queer, you see.

Brian Skinner He’s so cultured – I know because the soundtrack is smashing me in the face with it

Ronnie Gardocki I want a reboot of the character where Hannibal only listens to Britpop

Kip Reed Hospitals: You can pretty much walk in and take whatever the fuck you want.

Jody Skinner Operatics in the OR. Fitting.

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast He just walked in and stole all that stuff, this is Obamacare’s fault

Kip Reed neither did Ridley Scott

Jody Skinner Joan Rivers just after surgery

Brian Skinner Too much handsome

Patrick Guder PIGEONS! AHHHH!!!!

Brian Skinner Can’t shake those fish mongers. They’ve monged it all

Jody Skinner Farmers market = tattoo sleeves. Inevitable.

Ronnie Gardocki This is kind of the Hannibal Lecter version of the pre-credits Bond action setpiece, only this is completely worthless and stupid.

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Dressed to Impressed

Jody Skinner …as a zebra

Brian Skinner I hope the baby is a gun

Kip Reed This is actually not a shot from the movie, it’s just Julianne Moore realizing what movie she’s in.

Brian Auron FOX35, for all your Funereal and Police Activity news

Kip Reed what the fuck you couldn’t get nine of the same kind of TV??

G.g. Launchbaugh tonight on plot summary tv…

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast why is his bed in the dining room?

Brian Skinner Hard reporting – pulls no punches – now let’s ground this story with the faceless guy.

Brian Auron Ray Liotta: “My GOD these glasses are tasty.”

G.g. Launchbaugh ooo Henry Hill is pissed

Kip Reed this is snake pants from homeland, clown nose from agriculture, Henry Hill from goodfellas, and that’s vice admiral silly walk.

Jody Skinner The pearl earrings are overstated.

Kip Reed I had a choice to take this role… I said no, then they said do you like money? And sir..I took that money sir. Is that good enough for you?

Brian Skinner The real tragedy? His haircut

Jody Skinner Pinstripe or seersucker? Why decide?

Ronnie Gardocki Cordell Doemling? FUCK YOU MOVIE, THAT’S NOT A REAL NAME

Brian Auron Hello, Agent Starling, I’m the wormy guy!

Brian Skinner By all means put the microphone on my dick

Jody Skinner Her best acting is looking at Mr Verger with a straight face.

Ronnie Gardocki “Julianne Moore humors mutilated cripple: The Motion Picture”

Jody Skinner “The dark side of turtlenecks – at 11!”

Kip Reed poppers.. not even once

Ronnie Gardocki Drug use based on the film “Reefer Madness”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Peeling his face off also made him lose all that rockstar hair

Brian Skinner They peeled faces off twenty hobos to get the look accurate

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast #facewich

Brian Skinner Don’t move your teeth Miss Moore – it’s called acting

Jody Skinner Whole faces are starting to look abnormal too me…

Brian Auron Surely someone who saves a pigeon can’t be a greedy monster!

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Time for Pigeon Pie

Brian Skinner Needs more stags

Jody Skinner #foodstamps

Ronnie Gardocki “Can you blame me for earning a quarter million spilling monster person secrets to a monster person?”

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Fuck these pigeons

Kip Reed Anthony Hopkins reads Pigeon: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE

Ronnie Gardocki Hannibal’s probably gonna be in this movie at some point, right? This isn’t a Spider-Man 2 situation where he’s thrown his mask into a garbage can, saying “I am Cannibal-Man no more”, right?

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Sunglasses indoors…eurotrash

Kip Reed Hey excuse me just one more question sir, am I… am I Jean Reno?

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast I like that guy better when he’s trying to destroy House Atreides

Jody Skinner Hats and cigarettes in church. Ahh Italia!

Brian Skinner It’s him!!! #cannibalwich

Brian Skinner That hat is a … Choice

Jody Skinner A lifestyle choice. 1st amendment.

Ronnie Gardocki A fucking hat can fool the Italian security apparatus, obviously

G.g. Launchbaugh nobody looks good in that hat…okay, Bowie does.

Kip Reed OH FUCK CURSIVE!

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast Look at that Kerning…so hot…

Brian Auron Handwriting As An Instrument of Evil: by Hannibal Lecter

Ronnie Gardocki If this was made now, Hannibal would totally forward a lot of anti-Obama chain letters to Clarice

Kip Reed Let’s see.. Dear Clarice if you don’t mail ten copies of this letter..

Jody Skinner “Dear Clarice, we’ve landed in Normandy. Many have died. I may never see you again, sweetheart, but if I do….your face is mine.” -Lieutenant Hannibal

Brian Skinner I write ‘alas’ all the time in my threatening letters

Chris Jones The Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes is getting elaborate…

Ronnie Gardocki “Great, some Frasier-esque creep is sending me letters again”

Kip Reed tata… HANNIES

G.g. Launchbaugh he can really play that newspaper!

Kip Reed really candle light.. a little on the nose biting don’t you think?

Brian Skinner Take a shot every time he says Clarice because he said it in Silence of the Lambs

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast A panel of the worlds finest noses

Ronnie Gardocki Mark Margolis! Noted Jewish Italian Latino villain

Jody Skinner Don’t bring the smell guy to the State Fair.

Kip Reed ..ambergis.. KFC… Sandalwood… KFC extra crispy

Brian Skinner Look about twenty percent more haggard please

Jody Skinner The only thing bigger than Interpol guy’s nose are the bags under his eyes. Even Southwest would charge a fee.

Kip Reed that’s the nicest Olive Garden these eyes have ever seen

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast he’s dressed like the room he’s in!!!

Brian Auron Cut out of this movie: Hannibal, Alfred, and Bruce seeing each other across the tables.

Kip Reed if some couple doesn’t’ start to fight and then make love immediately I am turning this off

G.g. Launchbaugh not since geocities have I seen such a spectacular website

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast He’s checking il googles

Ronnie Gardocki oh man CHECK OUT THAT 2000 INTERNET IT’S FUCKIN’ FIL-THY

Chris Jones Should have asked Jeeves…

Brian Auron I like how the page to access the database is public, but when you do so, it tells you you’re breaking the law.

Kip Reed I either have to hack this site for the top ten or go to a post office.

Jody Skinner #milkcarton

Brian Skinner ‘Password123′

G.g. Launchbaugh password is swordfish

Ronnie Gardocki I love the search engine that only gives you the one thing you want. In reality this dude would have to sift through a lot of “sign up 10 friends to get a free Hannibal Lecter PS4″

Kip Reed She’s listening to Can We Just Be Friends on the Rhymes with Nerdy network available on iTunes now!

G.g. Launchbaugh Ray Liotta likes the boobies

Kip Reed I keep thinking this is where the FBI stashed Henry Hill.. in plain sight.. so perfect.

Brian Skinner So he got a job because of his power of insight like “artsy fartsy people like chamber music and other dudes”

Brian Auron “Queers like artsy fartsy stuff. I like football and boobs. I’m a straight cop. Boobs.”

Brian Skinner Subtle writing on this character

Ronnie Gardocki Hahaha, Liotta totally botched saying “fiefdom”

Jody Skinner Is corn pone pussy alliterative enough?

Ronnie Gardocki See, they’re characterizing Liotta as irritating so NO ONE WILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH A MONSTER PERSON EATING HIM LATER

Brian Skinner So all dudes are basically monsters … seems accurate

Jody Skinner Plastic? In Italy? Next you’ll tell me they eat babies

Brian Skinner Call our vague accent hotline

Kip Reed the number is 00 GO BLOW ME.. aw you damn jerky boys!

G.g. Launchbaugh the call was coming from inside the phonebooth!

Brian Auron BUT WHO WAS PHONE!?

Rhymes With Nerdy Podcast That guy has great hair

Ronnie Gardocki In the next movie, Hopkins kills and eats everyone who dares to say “could care less” when they mean “couldn’t care less”

Jody Skinner Do de-craniumed brains cool off from 98.6 too fast to warrant a hot plate? Guess we’ll find out.

Kip Reed Hannies is smoking and barefoot.. I feel so fucking weird right now

Brian Skinner Needs more busts

Kip Reed let me just pull these blood splatter curtains

Jody Skinner I hoard shit and wear silk pajamas. It’s what doctors do.

G.g. Launchbaugh Ash already, we can’t stand the tension!

Brian Skinner So we’ve heard goody goody and okie dokie – Best Script Ever

Brian Auron Coming up: Hunky Dory and Totes McGotes

If you missed the groupwatch, read the whole saga in detail here:

That’s 849 Comments worth of Hilarity (trust me, I’ve read every single comment). Thanks to newcomer Chris Jones for joining in the fun!

Did I mention this show loves to kill people? Like a lot? Below is a video of every death, sent to Jim Carroll’s “People Who Died” Enjoy!

Beth: Deer are a lot like us, we like corn and poop in the woods. Kip: they murder other girls that look like them, right dad? right?

Kip: we’ve been poking them with sticks, its fun.

Kip:  HEY I DID THAT! I mean.. I am the killer, I did it. Beth: Fancy Cannibal is blushing and wishing he’d brought his big notebook to cover an obvious boner.

Kip: You killed my dad, without antlers…It felt weird.

Kip: Will: Murdering is… Hannibal: RAD! Will: I was going to say awful..are you the killer? You are aren’t you?

Beth: Hello pleased to eat you, I mean meat you. Damn it. MEET you.

Kip: there are no heels or faces…there are just people and just actions.. and I am the killer, I mean I am not.. I mean.. aw fuck yeah its me. Skinner: Wait… Hannibal is a bad guy?

Kip: Hannibal please stop licking the cement.. so gross.

Kip: Nice work detective. We all saw him run off

Beth: Jesus Christ Antlerstar

Kip: I remember saying to myself oh it’s doctor hannibal and then he slammed my head into the wall, it was weird.

Kip: I have a certain set of skills Abigail

Kip: you can call me Unkie Hannies Beth: yay Cannibal buddies forever or until you smoke me on a bed of dry hay, whichever comes first.

Beth: Welcome to the Blue Collar Cannibal’s Antler House Kip: This guy is the most prolific Deer murderer the Agency has ever seen.

Kip: Hey way to murder that dude in his kitchen! YOU THE MAN, Prof!

Kip: Will, I am the cool psychologist! What Jack doesn’t know won’t hurt him. You can call me Mr. H! Beth: Just don’t leave your snot rags lying around. Kip: Or I’ll eat you. No seriously, I am the killer. I eat people. End of show.

Kip: My brother in college told me about this marijuana that’s really like mushrooms. Skinner: Kids these days – so cool with dead bodies. Thanks, internet.

Skinner: Mmm…now I’ll never want mushrooms again. Unless they’re organically dead body grown. Kip: You haven’t had your mushrooms grown on a dead body? They’re all the rage in Portland and Nashville. I once had a call for a lady that had abdomen pain and she was a large woman. We moved her to the gurney and one of her folds opened up and a sandwich fell out and it had eaten thru her skin into her abdomen. Beth and Skinner: *screaming nightmares for days*

Skinner: If you can’t make sharp witted comments in front of dead bodies full of mushrooms, you aren’t worth your weight in mushrooms.

Kip: Whatever you do don’t! Pull the skin…thanks, Katz. Skinner:  Not the type of mushroom heads you usually see on naked dudes. At least alive ones.

Just as sane as you are, Dr. Lecter.

Beth:  I can imagine you as my therapist, because I am obviously crazy. Skinner:  I always try to match the walls in a room I might end up in at the end of the day.

Never Eating Again.

Skinner: PIG POOP. Beth: It just sounds better when Scott Thompson says it. Skinner: True, he is the superior Canadian here.

 Skinner:  Lesson of this – never go to a pharmacy. They know too much. Kip:  This is why i get all my pills from that dude that lives in the old blockbuster building.

Kip: Hate to see her go, but love to watch her turn into a mushroom farm.

 Skinner: Just another hospital stag. Kip: Paging Dr. Stag, you’re needed in the Glen.

Come Hither, my Nither.

Skinner: Time to fuck on this hospital bed oh wait person on it.

Kip: Fucking hipster barista,  just give me the coffee, I don’t need to see your art.

Beth: SURPRISE there IS no future me. Skinner:  WHAT A TWIST! I bet future him if he had lived would appreciate it. It’s ironic. Like rain on a wedding day.

Kip: I asked for a brown blanket they gave me a blue, I am dealing with a lot of shit right now Crawford. Skinner: Crazy person shoots someone in front your face and talks about mushroom brains and you’re so calm because your hair. Beth: “He’s gonna bury her…and I’m just now telling you an hour later.” Kip: She had to wait for the blanket to arrive.

Kip: Excuse me I am looking for the murder scene survivor ward.

Skinner: Brains are mushrooms. Mushrooms are humans. HUMANS ARE MUSHROOMS. WE’RE ALL TOAD. BOW DOWN TO PRINCESS PEACH. Still better than that Super Mario Bros movie and Yoshi’s Island.

Kip: Wash me like one of your french dogs.

Kip: Romantic face touch, I ship these two.

Kip: Do you ever get the feeling a forensic psychopath killer is watching you sleep?

Kip: If a dude says you remind him of a mongoose he murdered and ate someone.

Beth: Or it’s true Love. Possibly both.

Full discussion here.

Episode 1 -“Apéritif”-  Sunday Feb. 2nd

Episode 2 – “Amuse-Bouche”- Tuesday Feb. 4th

Episode 3 – “Potage” – Thursday Feb. 6th

Episode 4 – “Œuf”- Sunday Feb. 9th

Episode 5 – “Coquilles” – Tuesday Feb. 11th

Episode 6 – “Entrée”- Thursday Feb. 13th

Episode 7 – “Sorbet” – Sunday Feb. 16th

Episode 8 – “”Trou Normand””- Tuesday Feb. 18th

Episode 9 – “Fromage” – Thursday Feb. 20th

Episode – 10 – “Buffet Froid”- Sunday Feb. 23rd

Episode 11 – “Rôti” – Tuesday Feb. 25th

Episode 12 – “Relevés” – Wednesday Feb. 26th

Episode 13 – “Savoureux” – Thursday Feb. 27th