I’m also in the middle ground of fans who like the third film, Rise of the Machines.  It’s nowhere near as good as T1 or T2, but it has its own kind of fun, and I enjoyed that a movie from a big studio would allow that kind of an ending.  But T3 is lumped in with many a third entry in franchises, and disliked by quite a few.  So the unenviable task for Genisys is if it can stand next to the original and Judgment Day.

As much as I was looking forward to a reinvention for the Terminator, it does not stand with those revolutionary films.  It’s not nearly as bad as Salvation, but I think I’d still prefer to watch Rise of the Machines over Genisys.  Which pains me to say, because this newest entry isn’t really bad, it just doesn’t live up to its potential.  If not for a few miscues it could have really been a great movie.

Genisys follows the basic story laid out by previous entries, and I swear a few nods to even the third and fourth films.  Going all the way to the 80’s original, human savior leads a revolt of humans in a victory over the machines that have enslaved and exterminated the earth’s population.  However, the program governing the machines, Skynet, launches a final offensive by sending back a Terminator cyborg to kill John’s mother Sarah before she can give birth to the greatest leader in human history.

John sends back Kyle Reese, one of his soldiers and the man destined to father John while in the past, to protect his mother and ensure his birth.  All this is as it was in previous movies, but now as we see Reese sent back, there is an attack on John, and history is changed from what we know it to be.  Reese has double memories of two timelines, another Terminator was sent back to protect Sarah at a younger age, and a few other mysteries linger as to what ramifications these changes have had.

This is just the latest in a series of franchise filmmaking to use the newest plot device, thanks to time travel, of “resetting” a fictional history so as to be able to explore familiar territory in new ways.  The first J.J. Abrams directed Star Trek film did this famously, or infamously, and might now seem to be a way to revitalize other franchises such as Terminator.  And honestly, it wasn’t too bad of an idea, but the execution was just a wee off.

The best I can surmise is that the more digital we get in society, and in movie making, the more the product suffers.  Just as in Jurassic World, digital special effects and a more modern look take away from what we’re seeing.  Watching that movie, and now watching this, I couldn’t help but think how much better the effects looked in the older versions.  This is especially true when you see the T-1000 of Genisys, a creation that doesn’t look nearly as good as his 1991 counterpart did.

These new movies lack that sense of feeling, of a world that’s lived in.  The best comparison would be the original Star Wars movie to the prequels.  The aesthetic is too clean, too refined.  In Genisys, we see future soldiers of humanity who are far more organized and uniform (even with their uniforms) than I remember in the original Terminator.

And in a movie about man versus machine, we need better actors than what we have here.  The person with the most personality is the cyborg for the love of Pete.  I really have nothing against Jai Courtney, except for the fact that he seems to be taking a lot of roles from actors who would be better suited for them.  Here we have a Kyle Reese who could be the stand in for a lower budget Terminator instead of an everyman like Michael Biehn or even Anton Yelchin (one of the bright spots of Salvation).  It’s a real downgrade for the character.

Emilia Clarke, girl from Game of Thrones, is in a tough spot as Sarah.  Who in her right mind would want to follow in the footsteps of Linda effin’ Hamilton?  But she does pretty good in the role, caught somewhere between the Sarah who has yet to discover her importance and the one who escapes from an institution and teaches her son how to save the world.

I will say that J.K. Simmons has a pretty interesting role, and when it is made known who he is, one can see where the writers are going with him.  It’s small for Genisys, but I have a feeling he becomes much more in future installments.  That’s if we can get there through this first movie in what is a proposed trilogy, and it makes the oodles of money it needs to.

A lot of the disappointment with the Terminator movies as we continue along, I think, stem from what could be described as a feeling that the movies are simply retreads of material we’ve already seen, and places we’ve already been.  Not just that, but also because there is quite possibly a gold mine of stories that could come out of the mythology, and we haven’t seen them because those in charge are playing it safe.

The thing about Genisys, however, is that the conceit of the story has the audience deliberately witnessing ground we’ve already covered as being essential to the plot.  It’s a mix of the aforementioned 2009 Star Trek and Back to the Future Part II.  I’m hoping it’s something that is a necessary hump to do what they need to do in order to move forward.  If not, it might be time to bring in new blood, er, circuitry, or abandon the series altogether before even the original films are tarnished.

As much of a retread is needed for this story to be pulled off, there was one twist that is a HUGE departure from the Terminator mythology, and they gave it away with second damn trailer released for the movie!  I don’t normally care about spoilers, but when you put in the trailer and ON THE POSTER that John Connor has been changed into a Terminator…W.T.F., indeed.  In a movie where we really have seen everything it’s got to offer, why give away the one thing that could have been a great holy shit moment?

One last note, and we have Marvel to thank for this trend, there is a small scene mid-credits. So, yeah.

The franchise isn’t yet terminated, but it’s going to have to be better than this to survive its own judgment day.

You might be thinking enough with talking about Marvel Studios already.  But I can’t.  There’s a reason these are, to me, the crown jewel of nerdom at the moment.  Think about this.  ONE studio, focused on ONE niche genre has produced NINE movies released since 2008.  Nine movies in six years.  And they’ve all been blockbusters, many of which have found a place in the top-grossing movies of all time.

They all might be superhero movies, but they are different unto themselves.  Cap is good example.  The first one is a period piece set during the 1940’s, while the new one is in modern day and harkens back to political thrillers of the 70’s.  None of the Iron Man flicks are the same.  They all have a distinct tone to them.  These movies find ways to keep things fresh while maintaining continuity.

Marvel Studios is hoping that keeps their babies going for a long time to come.  There are currently MCU flicks scheduled for release through the year 2017. A few of them have not been announced, but I’m guessing we’ll see something later this year.  Recently, Kevin Feige (Marvel Studios head honcho and nerdy super-producer) mentioned he’d seen the latest list of what plans are, and they extend all the way to 2028.  I’m not one for counting chickens as the saying goes, but the ones that have hatched so far would lead me to believe that plan is pretty viable right about now.

So in honor of Cap kicking Hydra booty, and Marvel Studios planning flicks into my fifties, here’s a ranking of the chicks so far.  A few things go into the ranking system- my personal favorites, measured by a more subjective look at the craft that went into them, and consideration for what they mean/how they affect the larger MCU.  Feel free to give your list in the comments.  I like comments.

1. Iron Man

This deserves the top spot above even Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, because if this had not worked we wouldn’t be talking any of it.  The (mis)adventures of Tony Stark started not just a franchise, but with a little added sequence at the end of the credits began one of the biggest and most important sagas in cinematic history.  I know Robert Downey, Jr. is thanking his lucky stars, and to those of us who thought he was perfect from the get go we can all say “told ya” to the people who doubted the casting (which was oddly a lot of people).

2. The Avengers

How this isn’t at the top, or second from the top, of anyone’s list is beyond me.  Marvel did what nerds have clamored for for decades, and achieved something that competitor DC hasn’t even been able to get it up for.  One movie merging multiple characters and franchises to bring together Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and the supporting characters fans have loved and come to love over the course of half a decade on the silver screen, and much longer in the comics.  Add in one of the most prominent writer/directors in nerd culture, and you have the biggest comic book movie of all time.

3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I might be accused of favoring this one so high just because it’s the newest entry to the MCU pantheon, but I don’t care.  I’ll admit there might be some rose-colored glasses going on here, but look at this movie on its own and in the context of the others, and tell me this isn’t The Empire Strikes Back or The Dark Knight of the Marvel movies.  Each Phase Two flick has been darker than the predecessors, and I’m going to guess it only gets darker.  I not only want to see what comes in the next Avengers because of this, but the promise of Steve going after Bucky is almost (almost) more enticing right now.

4. Captain America: The First Avenger

Maybe I’m just jonesing for Cap right now, or maybe his movies just seem to be the most unique among the MCU.  This flick brought to mind old favorites like The Rocketeer (by the same director), and Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Not bad company for a movie like this.  All the Marvel movies are about redemption and becoming a better person in some fashion, but where Iron Man and Thor and Hulk focused on the metal of a hero, this summed up perfectly the mettle of a man.

5. Iron Man 3

Spoiler alert- the Mandarin is a flimsy British actor full of booze and drugs.  And I’m fine with that.  Sure I was a little disappointed that the spooky Ben Kingsley of the trailers was a trick, but if you’ve seen the one shot All Hail the King, you know the Mandarin is not something to be dismissed as a serious role for a goofy actor.  Plus, I’m all for not doing literal translations right from the books.  IM3 started the “darker” trend of Phase Two, and tested the waters for a political message in these movies.  If it ends up being the last solo Iron Man movie (at least with RDJ), they ended it in a good place for it to be over there, and to pick up the pieces in Avengers movies.

Thor: The Dark World

6. Thor: The Dark World

The darker Phase Two movie that even says so in the title.  Watching this and then going back to the first one, you’ll notice how vastly improved everything is.  The director, who came from a background that includes Game of Thrones, brought it a more epic look, and made it feel more visceral at the same time.  Plus Thor isn’t a bleached out mess who looks like he has a plastic beard.  Just saying.

7. The Incredible Hulk

The Mark Ruffalo Bruce Banner of the Avengers might feel more interesting, and his Hulk more fun, but this early entry into the MCU was far superior in tone, and much closer to what fans are looking for from the Jolly Green Goliath, than Ang Lee’s cerebral mess earlier in the decade.  Closer to Bill Bixby’s television version, this flick provided us with a Hulk that acknowledged the original sort of, but only enough to continue the story.  And as the second Marvel Studios movie, it helped to cement the shared universe idea at its conclusion (though I still think that should have been at the end of the credits).  The only drawback to this one is all the threads that have been left to wonder about.  Though recently there were passing mentions made of the Leader and Blonsky on the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show. I’d like to see them back on the big screen, however.

8. Thor

This movie might have had the second most difficult job of all these movies after bringing together the Avengers.  This one had to believably introduce and include a mythological GOD into the canon that, despite the science-fictiony elements of the other characters, was largely grounded in reality.  It was pulled off by taking the “what you call magic is just another kind of science” route.  And it worked.  Yippee!

9. Iron Man 2

Being the last on the list is usually bad, and unfortunately something had to be at the bottom.  But it’s not for any negative reason the first MCU sequel goes here.  Iron Man 2 might have been rushed, might seem a little too much like the first one in the final battle, and seem more of a SHIELD commercial/Avengers precursor, but it’s still fun as heck.  When their worst movie is still awesome, you know they’re doing something right.  All I wish is they’d had more Mickey Rourke. And bring Justin Hammer back, already!

Now it’s only fair to do a little preview of what’s to come in the MCU.  These are not in any order of most looked forward to, or relevance.  Just chronological order of release.  I’m guessing by the track record of the flicks so far I’m going to enjoy them, so they’ll get their place on the list when the time comes.

• Guardians of the Galaxy – This damn movie looks like so much fun.  That is all.
• The Avengers: Age of Ultron – The sequel to the most successful comic book movie ever going to darker places after the Earth (universe?) shattering events of the four movies preceding it?  Helmed by the same master as the first one, who excels more the darker the material gets?  Just wondering if we can make it 2015 already.
• Ant-Man – Edgar Wright started the process of making this movie before the first Iron Man.  It finally gets its day in Phase Three of the Marvel Universe.  Test footage of the character in action, and the casting of Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas have this shaping up to be a great entry about a character who is possibly one of the hardest to sell to a general audience thus far.
• Captain America 3 – Much hoo has been ballied about this going toe-to-toe with a Man of Steel 2/Batman vs. Superman/Justice League sequel.  From where Winter Soldier left off, I’m inclined to go with this over that winning any showdown.
• Doctor Strange – He was mentioned in The Winter Soldier!  Marvel mastermind Feige has said the other Steve’s movie is closer than ever.  Phase Three or beyond, it should be good.

Where do rank these movies, and which ones are you most looking forward to?

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all…is that I’m going to discontinue using that phrase.  It’s starting to annoy me.  However, we are going to retire it with a contest.  Name the Marvel movie in which that phrase is said, and who said it, and you will receive a neat little trinket from yours truly.  Comment here or on the Facebook post sharing this story.

Excelsior!

**Disclaimer**

I wrote this earlier in the week, folks, before I knew I’d be seeing Captain America: The Winter Soldier a whole day early.  That’s right, I saw it Wednesday!  Na-Na-Na-Naboo-Boo!

Though, I left the following column alone as it was- a pre-viewing piece.  Happily, I can say with great certainty that just about everything to follow from my original bit is spot on, and the movie is a helluva flick.  But I hear there might be a podcast coming for that, so I’ll reserve my thoughts for later.

**End of Disclaimer**

Watching Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. this week, they had an extended scene from the new Marvel Studios’ flick Captain America: The Winter Soldier (I’d like to point out this is the first Marvel Studios sequel to not have a number behind it, just the subtitle. Don’t know if that means anything, just thought it was interesting). What good IS a TV show if you can’t promote other stuff?

During the commercial, they said, “See it Friday!” My response to the silly bastards was they know darn well most places have a Thursday night show, and most nerds and Marvel movie fans are going to go out then to see it if they can help it. I know I’m going Thursday night.  And then Friday. Then again on Saturday. And that’s if the movie sucks. Imagine how many times I’ll see it if it’s good?

By most accounts, it sounds as though it is a great movie, and an awesome, game-changing addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Of course, many critics (as well as “regular” people- in social, movie-going status, not bowel situation) are calling this one of the best MCU flicks, and Marvel’s ‘The Dark Knight’.

Now, I’m trying to not get as giddy as a school girl hearing something like that, because hyperbole is usually pretty high when these movies come out. Though, it has to say something that this is the ninth (?) Marvel Studios movie, and that’s being said. Most franchises can’t boast that kind of critical acclaim. Winter Soldier has a lot going for it, though.

When it was announced that a Captain America movie would be a part of Phase One of the MCU, it was met with one question- will they change the title? Of all the questions asked about this movie from the very beginning, the one I remember most had nothing to do with characters, or plot, or how it fit into the scheme of things with the other Marvel movies. Sure, those issues were all there, but for many muggles talking about it, they were concerned with whether people in other countries would be turned off by a movie with a hero draped in red, white, and blue.

I suppose it wasn’t really a stretch. The United States had done a pretty good job of tarnishing our reputation as far as foreign policy was concerned. Not saying I agree or disagree, it’s right or wrong, or the tarnishing has been deserved. But the sectors of the globe that disliked us seemed to dislike us even more, and those that were indifferent seemed to view us out of the corner of their eyes a little more suspiciously. So when a movie featuring a character that looks like our flag comes tearing out of the gate, I suppose, for those people, it’s hard to not tread lightly. They’re probably wondering if there isn’t some condescending, preachy manifesto along with it.

But those people misunderstood the very nature of who and what Captain America is. I use ‘misunderstood’ because after people actually saw the movie, all the bullshit should have gone away. Of course there’s still hate for the movie simply because it says America in the title, but those aren’t the kind of people anyone is most likely wanting to be associated with. In the end, the ideals of the character, and the story told, are ones that every person can identify with, and can be lifted by.

First and foremost, the plot is a period piece. Director Joe Johnston (the awesome Rocketeer, and serviceable Jurassic Park 3), wanted to do an action movie set in the 1940’s, and make it as exciting and engaging as anything modern day. That put the story back to a place in time when good and evil were more easily defined, and America was a shining example, and a knight in shining armor to many.

Second, and possibly more important than the setting of the story, is the character of Captain America himself, Steve Rogers. Without good ol’ Steve, there is no Captain America. Steve is chosen because of who he is- his morals, his values, and everything good about him. That’s what makes who he becomes so wonderful, America is just the branding. He might be a young white guy, but he’s the underdog and everyone loves the underdog. Especially if they have a heart of gold.  He stands for what is right when the odds are stacked against him, and his does it despite any fear he might have.

Third, the movie sets up the whole idea of the MCU and the Avengers despite being the last solo flick before the big team-up. Super ultra mega producer Kevin Feige has said (and this is based largely on the comics) that in the chronological timeline of the MCU, much that follows the origin of Captain America is an attempt, and result of trying, to recreate him. The Hulk being the biggest example of this (pun, maybe- and, the entirety of the MCU is not necessarily beholden to this notion, btw).

It also looks as though The First Avenger has set The Winter Soldier up for some pretty big pay-offs. You get who Steve is, and what his ideals are. There’s the friendship that takes an odd turn when Cap faces down the titular character. Who could forget the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and how the events of this movie will most certainly impact the television show Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quite possibly one of the biggest threads I’m looking forward to seeing continued is the story with ass-kicking agent Peggy Carter.

So this movie can be released unfettered by the question of will the rest of the world shy away, because they don’t care about the title, they care about the drama. There are things to find out, and continue, from the first flick. And we also have to see how it ties into all the other MCU flicks, past and future.

Not only does the movie look to have a lot of relevance to the MCU, but it also appears to have some relevance to our current political climate as well. The theme of The Winter Soldier seems to be all that was good is being perverted by the world we live in- Bucky turned into the character of the title, S.H.I.E.L.D. becoming more nanny state, and even Cap’s uniform becomes more militaristic and imperialist. I’m guessing from what I’ve seen in the trailers that Mr. Rogers does an about face, resulting in his use of the old uniform. I’m quite certain the wardrobe change is a physical representation of a character/story arc.

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all is I’m excited as much for The Winter Soldier as I was for The Avengers. Everything about it looks to be a giant step up, and step forward from the first one, and that’s saying a lot because I friggin’ loved that movie. This has that feel of being larger in scale, and smaller in terms of dealing with character. Never mind the flick is supposed to create interesting changes for Marvel’s solo TV show, and lead up to the next Avengers movie just as The First Avenger did (especially with a reported end credits sequence I won’t discuss here…but, well…ok, I won’t spoil it. Yes I will. No I won’t. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Must.Not. Spoil.

The last week has brought with it a few events that led to this.  First, a new competition show is premiering about half an hour from when I’m writing this in which contestants try their hand at the craft of Muppet-making for a spot at the Jim Henson Creature Shop.  Second, I happened to correct the use of a word on a Facebook post for the Jim Henson Company, honestly asking them a question as to whether or not their faux pas was an intentional play on words or a mistake.  Apparently it was the latter, because my comment was promptly removed, and the mistake was corrected.

There is also the recent release of The Muppets: Most Wanted, the newest movie starring Kermie and the gang.  I went to this movie with a 3-year-old who informed me halfway through he wasn’t a fan.  I made him watch the rest of the flick because I thought it was fantastic.  That movie got me thinking about a three movie collection I saw at Wal-Mart for ten bucks featuring Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, and MirrorMask (not made by Henson, but produced by the company).  I bought it the DVD the next day.

The newest Muppet movie, and some news in various nerdy outlets the last week concerning a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, once again made my mind do a time warp to my youth, recalling all the tie-in movie trading cards I had of the original live action movie from 1989.  One in particular, featuring Jim Henson and his Creature Shop-made Leonardo (titled Clowning with Leo), was something I have searched for on the Interweb over the past few years to add it once again to my collection of knicks and knacks.  Up until last Saturday I had been unsuccessful.  Long story short, I now have an Etsy account and the card is apparently being shipped to me from Massachusetts.

The last, and I thought funniest, sign this was meant to be came as I started to formulate the idea for this column.  As I walked from my computer room to the living room to grab something, The Goldbergs was on the TV, and the father on the sitcom had a puppet on his hand- a Fraggle puppet.  That pretty much cemented things for me.  And after watching the Creature Shop Challenge show (I started this before it aired, and am finishing it up after), I have no doubt at all it was a good decision.

As soon as that show started, they had clips for old Jim Henson productions- his movies, his Muppets, and other characters- and I was a small child once again.  Then, THEN, Jim Henson spoke in one of the clips and I felt like I just might fall apart inside.  Sad, I know.  Especially since it wasn’t even anything of consequence.  He was just discussing a creation of some kind in behind the scenes footage from a set.  But it took me back, and brought back a lot.  And I instantly mourned for this world, and couldn’t fathom how we’ve survived without the guy this long.

Then it struck me as his son Brian, producer and co-host of the Creature Shop show, opened his mouth and started talking to the contestants.  The man might be the incarnation of his dad, or at least a serviceable facsimile.  And I realized the legacy of Jim Henson has been carried on by good intentions and hearts.  From what Brian has done to what the Walt Disney Company has done as owner of the Muppets.  Jim Henson’s memory has been in good hands.  Not that anyone could actually tarnish his memory even if they tried.

For every stage of my life, Jim Henson had something for me.  Here is a list that very well could just be a sampling as my memory doesn’t always allow me to recall everything:

• Sesame Street
• Fraggle Rock
• The Muppet Babies
• The Muppet Show
• The Dark Crystal
• Labyrinth
• The Witches
• The Storyteller
• Dinosaurs
• The Muppet Movie
• The Great Muppet Caper
• The Muppets Take Manhattan
• The Jim Henson Hour, Muppets Tonight
• The Muppet Christmas Carol (one of my favorite movies of all time)
• The Muppet Treasure Island
• Follow That Bird (can’t forget the Sesame Street movie!), and many more productions that were either produced by Henson or his company.  Not to mention the films they just worked on that were not their own (the Ninja Turtles being one of the biggest examples).

It isn’t like they are age-appropriate by any means, though casual viewers are likely to think of them that way.  You sit me down in front of a Henson production and I will watch it, and want more right after it’s over.  I don’t care if it’s the Muppet Babies.  I’m there.  Jim Henson is one of my all time favorite heroes, and it’s because everything he did was literal magic.  He became famous for his creatures, but he endured because of what he was able to accomplish with them.  There are reasons I wax nostalgic for these properties and still cling to mementos I have as well as try to reclaim those I’ve lost.

I still have my Big Bird with the drawstring on the back that allowed him to talk.  I still have my book, a biography on Jim Henson that was written by one of his daughter’s friends after his death.  I remember my mother coming home from conferences one evening (she’s a teacher), and I got a stuffed Fozzie from McDonald’s they had one Christmas.  I, of course, had Ninja Turtles, and the ones based on the movie were some of my favorites because they were so realistic looking.

Henson and company made the unbelievable not only believable, but realistic as well.  Take for example, the Ninja Turtles.  The original movies’ foursome (and Splinter, Tokka, and Rahzar) was brought to life by the Creature Shop.  There is a new movie in which the Turtles are generated inside a computer using motion capture.  Guess which I think I’m going to prefer.  There is something to be said for making something that can be touched, and seen, and smelled, and felt.  It’s more visceral, and even though it is an imaginary creation, it feels real for simply occupying space.  Audiences can tell the difference.

The makers of the movie adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are believed that apparently, too.  Instead of creating their “monsters” in a computer, Spike Jonze wanted practical, working creations.  And I can’t imagine that movie any other way.  I remember there being talk of giving the Muppets the ol’ CGI treatment when they returned to the big screen under the Disney umbrella.  To their credit, Disney nixed anything like that (except where practical effects would fail), and hired celebrity fans including Jason Segel to help Kermit and pals make their debut to a new generation.

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all is…hell I don’t know.  I’m saying you can ramble on about your fondness for someone like Jim Henson without a specific, coherent point because he and his legacy can’t be boiled down like that.  And the best part is, like his creations and the ones being made in his name, once you start talking about them, you don’t mind if you start rambling.  You get lost in it, and any tangent connected with it, and you’ve had a spectacular time.  It’s all Henson, all the time.

Hopefully I’ve awakened some forgotten memories in some of you the way they are occasionally awakened in me, and you dust off that DVD (or VHS!) and take in a viewing.  I will say one thing you will want to check out first if you’ve never seen the footage is Henson’s funeral.  It is one of the most touching and bittersweet things to which you will ever expose your senses.  Then watch your favorite Henson production, or tune into that Creature Shop show, and figure out why you’re crying over a Muppet eulogy.

…Theory, that is.

Thankfully, the hottest comedy on television doesn’t employ the use of the entire song by The Barenaked Ladies, because it was hard enough to lampoon what little I did. I am no Barenaked Lady, or Weird Al. However that song, and all its fun lyrics (the actual lyrics, not mine) are just one of the many things about the CBS show The Big Bang Theory that I enjoy. And I used to not be able to stand it. Like many things, my dislike for the show was based on the fact that I was ignorant of it.

To be even more fair to the show, I generally dislike most things on CBS on the whole. I find the comedies bland, the dramas repetitive, and if they attempt anything fun like a genre show I pretty much assume they’re ripping off a better show (I’m looking at you vampire detective show, Moonlight). I did give Under the Dome a shot, but quickly lost interest. I can say with most certainty I haven’t enjoyed CBS since the 90’s and their fun little Flash series.

Years ago, and I don’t remember how, a show about nerds doing nerdy things and trying to get girls made a blip go blippy-blip on my radar. I had some friends who were fans of the show since what I believe to be the very beginning of its airing, and I might have even watched part of an episode. I can only assume that I was in a phase of my life where I felt society at large was trying to co-opt nerd culture in some way, and that made me spiteful of “mainstream” creations such as The Big Bang Theory.

When I was a youngling, being a nerd was not celebrated. I didn’t sit with the popular kids at the lunch table because of my extensive knowledge of Star Trek. Then, at some point, something shifted. I’m not sure if it was that studios were finally making movies based on properties t nerds had enjoyed for decades, or perhaps the overall audience was finally embracing their inner nerd. Whatever the case, shit like Spider-man was popular and all the blondes on the cheerleading squad started wearing Mary Jane Watson t-shirts. It was sort of like there was a revolt against being a pretender to fit in. Though, for me and my friends it was too late as we were starting our lives in the real world where crap like cliques don’t matter (as much). Plus, most of my friends were nerd peers of some sort, anyway.

It isn’t odd then that a nerd would be wary of a show like Big Bang, especially coming from the creator of the one of the dumbest comedies ever conceived, Two and a Half Men. I chided my friends who enjoyed Big Bang, and told them it didn’t represent nerds. We wouldn’t be wearing the stuff they wore (a Green Lantern shirt for $70??), and it sounded like it was written by people who thought they knew what being a nerd was, for people who had no clue what being a nerd was.

Then I grew up. My outlook went from one of a-holes trying to horn in on my action, to maybe they were all finally listening to what other nerds and myself were telling them for so long- this stuff is awesome. It wasn’t like it was a conscious decision, it just seemed to happen. And it affected the way I enjoyed a few things. Big Bang was one that got the benefit of that change, and was one of the things that prompted it as well.

I watched the show. TBS had started airing reruns, and while I was sick (I think) I happened to catch a few. In my delirium, I enjoyed it, and was surprised by the references they employed during the storytelling and the humor. I found myself wondering how many people in the general audience even liked the show, because they couldn’t quite possible be catching half of the things that were there. How many yokels on their couch are going to know what in the hell Red Dwarf is??

The show won me over, plain and simple. When I took the time to delve into it, I identified with the characters (a nerd in a non-nerd world), discovered references for some beloved properties (across all types of media), and a show that was funny as hell. It was essentially a shoe is on the other foot type of moment. Here I was, someone who was in a group trying to tell others about all these things they were missing out on, and that they misunderstood, and now the role was reversed and I had to listen to others, finding that I was the one missing out when it came to this show.

I joined the ranks of literally millions of people who watch every Thursday. Or, Saturday after we DVR the sucker. In the time I’ve watched it, and rewatched the reruns again and again, I can say there are only a few times where I’ve thought the writers have repeated themselves. Otherwise, it doesn’t really drag anything out, and doesn’t seem to retread much if anything at all. Hopefully that continues being the case going forward, because the show has been renewed for three more seasons.

The move by CBS to take Big Bang to at least ten seasons is no surprise. Really, it’s as no-brainer as you can get. The show has ranked as the number one sitcom since the 2010-2011 season, according to CNN, and currently averages 19.79 million viewers. That number is up four percent from last year. Many shows can’t say the same.

What I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all, is get on the Big Bang train (that’s for Sheldon). Either the show is a reflection of how nerd culture has been hijacked by the mass audience, or the nerds have invaded and finally proved how wonderful a world it is when you dig into caped crusaders and alien beings. No matter which it is, we are not only sitting at the popular lunch table, but we are commanding it. And our knowledge of Star Trek will probably let us in on more of the jokes.

The Minnesota-based company Target (who should have fired all their PR people months ago) has yet another notch on the belt they’ve been using to beat society lately.  On the heels of data theft (which I really don’t blame them for), layoffs, and all around crappy management of those issues, Target has added a Photoshop scandal to the mix.  It seems that the retailer thought it best to alter the image on a product featured on the company website.

The image was for a swimsuit and the alteration made the model look as though the gap between her legs could house a small family of beavers (pun intended).  Needless to say, though I will, someone saw it and the image spread like wildfire across the Interweb.  Target had the image removed, but not before it had become controversial.  You know, the usual stuff about women and their self-esteem.  Though, the truly upsetting aspect to most people was the mess about the swimsuit being in the JUNIORS department.

So not only were there doctored photos of a female with enough room for a kayak in her crotch, but the female is supposed to be in junior-sized clothing.  Meaning she herself is an age fitting that apparel.  And the people already don’t like an idealized, unreachable body image put forth to shame women, but now it’s geared toward impressionable young girls.  The Bullseye missed the mark on that one (puns!). [Here’s a link to an actual news story about the whole thing.]

That brings us to our little world, and the sweet, innocent (or ignorant) nerds who occupy it, asking what all this fuss over canyon crotch has to do with us.  It is a double-edged sword, this here issue, putting nerds in the role of both victim and culprit.  We geeks, as accepting and tolerant as we are (a fairly natural disposition I will write on in the future), can also be the most critical.

The issue of body image is a very relevant one in the world of nerds, especially in comic books.  While the work of many popular artists is fantastic to look at, it doesn’t exactly represent the reality of a human being’s anatomy.  One argument in the favor of the artist and others involved in comics is that these characters are not normal human beings.  We have everything from an alien from the planet Krypton to mutants of all shapes and tail sizes.

This, however, leads to two problems.  The first is the very reason many nerds are so into escapist entertainment- our insecurities about ourselves.  While we feel as though our love handles can be used as floatation devices, and our asses are the best thing to land on in case of a fall, we are escaping to a world of ideal people and situations that can also have that affect on our psyche just as much as our peers.  Superman might stand for truth, justice and the American way, but he’s buff and we are sad and flabby (which is getting to be the REAL American way).

The second problem is that when these properties are adapted from comic books to other mediums, such as television or film, the fans of said characters are extremely critical.  Though, I do want to be very specific here, because it is a very fine line that ends up getting nerds into a kettle’s worth of hot water.

Complaints about casting of certain actors as certain characters are NOT a reflection of any nerd’s views on the demographic from which the actor comes.  It is instead a reflection of many fans’ strict adherence to source material.  However, this often gets confused as something it isn’t.

Two really big examples in the last six months have emerged that illustrate just that point.  The first, and one I had planned to touch on when I first started writing these, deals with Wonder Woman in the sequel to Man of Steel.  The very fact that the character has to join the ranks of a seemingly ever-growing cast of heroes aside, the casting of the Amazonian goddess is what I want to focus on.

It was announced that WW would be played by an actress named Gal Gadot.  She has done a few projects, but her most notable contribution to film is the Fast and Furious franchise.  I’ve seen all but one of those movies, and have seen Gadot’s photo in articles about her WW casting, but couldn’t for the life of me pick her out of a lineup.

Other nerds very well could, and have picked apart her casting in the Supes sequel since day one.  They have called her too skinny, short, and other things that are contrary to the normal vision in the collective conscious of what WW should look like.  All in all, the nerd community at large has treated this actress with the near vitriol they welcomed Affleck with when he was announced as Batman.

I found the whole thing funny, too, for superficial reasons.  As the stereotype of a nerd is an overweight, pimply-faced, antisocial reject who lives in his/her mother’s basement, I had to wonder what would give such a creature the gall to attack a woman based on her appearance.  My first inclination was that she was hot, and the representation of a female that some X-Box playing trolls could never bag or ever be.

But then I remembered the history of comic book movies, and how the smallest changes can incense a fan base.  Whether it’s leather uniforms for the X-Men or organic web shooters for Spidey (neither I minded), nerds hate change.  They even bitched when Laurence Fishburne was cast as Perry White in Man of Steel.  I though that was great, actually, as I’d already decided black actor Delroy Lindo would have been awesome in the same role.

Another recent casting that changed the racial identity of a character came in the form of Michael B Jordan as Johnny Storm, a.k.a. the Human Torch, in the Fantastic Four reboot coming from Fox.  Jordan got the gig from what I understand, because he was in the movie Chronicle by the same director as the FF reboot.

But of course nerds had to put their nerdy feet in their nerdy mouths and cry foul.  Thanks for getting us labeled racists, you a-holes.  However, this is also a case of mistaken ignorance.  If you read the comments on message boards and whatnot, you get the obvious morons who just hate black people, but you also get the real reason nerds don’t like the casting.

First, most nerds don’t like anyone cast in the movie so far.  Second, Sue Storm is white and she and Johnny are supposed to be siblings (leading some to believe adoption or a mixed family unit is in the cards- pointing to the greater issue of how much Fox is deviating from the source material).  Third, and the most given answer?  Survey says…he’s not black in the comic.

People with other publications have tried to reconcile the nerd sentiment with the rest of society, and have kind of failed.  They have pointed to the character of Nick Fury, who was traditionally white, but changed to a Samuel L Jackson-like black man when Marvel created the Ultimate universe in their books.  Jackson was later cast in the role when Fury appeared on screen in the first Iron Man, and people celebrated.

The attempt to justify the difference was that there was no Johnny Storm who had ever been black.  If he had been black in the Ultimate universe or the even newer, shinier NOW universe, nerds would be more accepting of Jordan’s casting.  To that I say nay.  Nay, I say.  The truth was, Nick Fury had turned into kind of a wuss and needed revamping.  And there ain’t no bigger badass as Sam Jackson.  Plus, people complained about the change in the comics, too, though not as much as these recent casting announcements.

This is a discussion that could go on and on, but frankly I’m getting tired.  Literally, my eyes are strained and I want to fall asleep.  So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all, is can’t we all just get along?  Nerds need to let go of their preconceived notions of characters in the world of fantasy.  If WW is a truly Amazonian goddess, she wouldn’t need her strength to be derived from physical muscle alone (and would you really want someone like Chyna to play the part?).

And who cares if Johnny Storm is black?  He’ll be on fire half the time, anyway, and black or white won’t matter.  Fire is orange, dammit, no matter who’s on fire.  Comics have always been on the cutting edge of pushing the envelope of social tolerance (remember when Lois Lane was black for an issue?), and if Johnny and Sue are part of a mixed race or adoption friendly family in the new movie, great.

So let it go, nerds.  Then maybe we won’t have to worry about how a dumbass photo on a website makes somebody feel because they’ll have learned shit like that doesn’t matter.

Let me explain.  Individual sports in which a person is judged can make a day really drag on.  What better way to spend a Saturday than sit through about twenty girls for an hour waiting for the one girl to compete for about two minutes, and then repeat through about four teams?

Needless to say, adults, teens, grannies, and anyone who needs to keep their sanity during the down times come prepared with fully charged electronic devices.  Kindles are all ablaze with the fiery passion of 50 Shades of Grey that middle-aged women are craving, teens are taking selfies as if their lives depended on how good their duck faces are, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one reading status updates and news links on the Facebook.

Imagine if you will, a slightly bored man in his early 30’s, cellular phone in hand, perusing articles on the most popular social media website known to man.  Now imagine an article that starts with “In case you missed it…” appears as an update from a regional publication.  What follows that simple beginning is enough for the man to barely contain his pure excitement, only read through part of the article before sharing it, and then tag as many of his friends as he can who will appreciate the content.

It was all I could do to not stand up on those ass-chapping bleachers and shout to the heavens, announcing that a Wizard World Convention was coming to our frozen wasteland of Minnesota!  I feverishly texted most of the very same people I had just tagged in said shared article, alternating between text and Facebook, updating as I read more of the details, including the guests that would be attending the inaugural event in Minneapolis.  I decided right then and there I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to attend my first convention- saaaaay WHAT???

That’s right, a 32-year-old nerd and I have never been to a convention.  I have been to the now defunct Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas (I wanted to work at Quark’s Bar!), I’d been to another Star Trek traveling exhibit when I was just a young lad in the 90’s, a traveling exhibit featuring the dinos of Jurassic Park, and theme parks like Disney World and Universal Studios.  But never a convention.

Not that it wasn’t for a lack of trying.  Once again referring back to my bachelor, apartment living days, there were actually a few occasions that plans were made as well as hotel reservations.  Red-Haired Roommate, Sickly Looking Roommate, and myself were going to go to Wizard World Chicago.  It was going to be a road trip, Chicago a mere 8 hour or so journey, depending on traffic, speed, and caffeine.  As happens in those bachelor apartment years, funds were not there to support the plans.  And so the meeting of celebrities, the buying of exclusives, and the camaraderie of like-minded people was lost.
I do know that Red-Haired Roommate and Sickly-Looking Roommate made the trip one year with a local comic book storeowner, helping him in exchange for passage.  However, Sickly-Looking Roommate had a tendency to exclude me from things so I did not go.  Wizard World Chicago has long been a Holy Grail for me, partly because I’ve never been to any convention and partly because of the failed attempts in the past.  However, the arrival of this convention to my home state can wash away that unfulfilled wish.  And it’s a Wizard World production to boot.

Who cares if it’s Wizard World?  I do, actually.  Back when magazines weren’t available on screens, Wizard was a comics publication that covered various aspects of nerdery and all that could go with it- comic books, movies, television, gaming, toys and collectables- you name it.  They also had offshoots specific to some categories like ToyFare magazine that dealt with, you guessed it, toys.  I read these zines and enjoyed the brand of humor employed in their articles.  So going to what seemed to me to be a physical, three-dimensional representation of the periodical I enjoyed would be a dream come true.

Minneapolis is no stranger to conventions.  There have been some regional things usually taking place in and around the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, and even a Star Trek Convention.  But this is certainly big news, and I fully expect to make a big deal out of it.  I’ve already taken the Thursday and Friday off from work the week of the convention and have already been offered accommodations in the area by Red-Haired Roommate who is now married to Blonde-Haired Wifey, who I in no way intend to reduce to a mere appendage to Red-Haired Roommate by calling her that (she offered, actually- thanks, by the by).  All I need now is some less-expensive advance tickets and I’m set!

The whole weekend sounds like it will be worth the price of admission.  My MN sensibilities had me skeptical of the talent that would be brought in.  Knowing our luck, we’d get that guy from Critters 4 and Steve Guttenberg.  But to my amazement, the guest list is on par with the other Wizard World Conventions, and I am impressed. Dean Cain (Teri Hatcher’s Man of Steel in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman), Jason David Frank (the original green Power Ranger), Ralph Macchio (The Karate Kid), and James Hong (all around go to elderly Asian guy) are some of the special guests that will appear.

Joss Whedon alums James Marsters and Nicholas Brendan (Spike and Xander of Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Sean Astin (Rudy, The Lord of the Rings), and Lou Ferrigno (TV’s The Incredible Hulk) are a few of the heavy hitters to be showing up.  There are also several actors from The Walking Dead (yay!) that will be there, including the always badass Michael Rooker, the adulterer everyone loves to hate Jon Bernthal, and Laurie Holden.

While I’m freaking out at the aspect of being in the same building as Ferrigno, the marquee guest, the main attraction, the big kahuna of the con will be Captain Kirk himself William Shatner.  If I even catch a glimpse of that guy, I pretty much guarantee a hug for the closest person.  Some of the comics talent I’m looking forward to is Crow creator James O’Barr, Neil Adams, and Ethan Van Sciver.

What helps to really make sure I get there is nowadays social media and blogs and forums like this are around to help hold us accountable.  By the very mention of going to the event I will be asked questions about the particulars.  Like telling everybody you’re on a diet on the Facebook.  The delay for this column had started to worry me.  Would I make it to the convention as I’m having a hard enough time declaring my intent?

What I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all, is that large and small, the comic book convention is the mecca for nerds of all shapes, sizes, and persuasions.  They are a place for all who worship at the feet of superheroes, elves, and creative types across multiple medias to congregate, celebrate, salivate, and purchase.  From the local comic book shop to the hallowed halls of San Diego, these are a must for nerds, geeks, and fanboys.  But I have never been to one.  That is, until now. Like a true pimp (or really lazy person), I made the convention come to me.

The countdown to May begins…Until then, what are your favorite convention memories or aspirations?  Let me know, especially if you have any tips for how to survive.

This week’s delay is much more somber than my gushing over a movie trailer, or how the movie spawning that trailer is going to be wicked awesome.  The delay this time stems from the death of a legend that I could not let pass with the mere sharing of another website’s article for all us Rhymers (trademarked!) to comment on.

Harold Ramis has been eulogized by just about every media outlet known to man since he died last weekend, and everyone has mentioned pretty much the same handful of movies in which he was involved in those eulogies.  There’s Stripes, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Groundhog Day, and of course Ghostbusters.

I’m not going to pretend I had any knowledge of Ramis’ personal life.  I was unaware he was even battling a disease of any kind (so unaware I’d have to look it up because I can’t remember now after hearing it just the other day).  His work didn’t touch me on a metaphysical level; it didn’t transcend anything and bring me a better understanding of us or the world.

His work entertained me.  He entertained me.  Ramis starred in, wrote, or directed movies I watched throughout my life that I would probably choose to watch again over many options today.  His work was obviously around as a child, he was around in my teens, and as I got older it was a happy surprise to see him as an actor or in the credits of a movie.

I’m not going to do a memorial of the man, because I didn’t know the man except through his work.  That I know.  Or, that I know some.  What you won’t find here is any raving about Caddyshack because I still haven’t seen it all the way through (gasp, I know).  Same goes for Animal House and Meatballs.  Get over it.  I also remember zilch about Stripes because I watched it a looooong time ago with a military-obsessed friend of mine.

What follows aren’t even milestones of Ramis’ career as I see it, just times his involvement or presence elevated a movie or was one cog of the machine that made them great.

Ghostbusters- BOTH movies are gold, I don’t care what people say about the second one.  Ramis was one of the driving forces behind a franchise that had just two movies but spawned a legacy of comic books, games, toys, clothing, collectables, and most important of all a cartoon.  The cartoon was one of the most successful, loved, and remembered of its time.  It would not have been, however, without the foundation of the movies.  They were funny, scary adventures that appealed to a broad base despite being about a bunch of nerdy, wacko scientists who hunt ghosts for money.  And I will always chuckle at “Do, Re, Egon!”

Bedazzled- This Brendan Fraser gem from the early 2000’s was awesome for many reasons.  It had great characterizations (the roided out basketball player and uber-sensitive crier are hilarious), Elizabeth Hurley as the devil (take me to hell!), and direction by Ramis.  It was the movie I’ll remember him for from that decade as opposed to the misstep that was Year One.

Knocked Up- He played Ben’s dad.  I’m fairly certain if you look at the credits that was the character’s moniker, too.  Not that the movie need any lifting up, but Ramis’ presence was a welcome one.  His few, short scenes weren’t short on convincing the audience this was a guy who knew what he was talking about and had no clue at the same time when giving parental advice.

Rover Dangerfield- You bet.  The movie that was basically about comedian Rodney Dangerfield as an animated dog.  Ramis co-wrote the flick and I’m pretty certain I saw it just the once and don’t remember much of except for enjoying it.  Much like…

 The Ice Harvest- A John Cusack/Billy Bob Thornton vehicle that doesn’t stick with you except that there are worse ways to spend a couple hours than watching two great actors under the tutelage of a great director.

 Stuart Saves His Family- The fact that this is basically a forgettable flop only proves the character wasn’t going to be easy to adapt from a five minute sketch to a feature length film.  If even Ramis couldn’t pull it off, there was no hope for anyone else.  I still think he’s good enough, smart enough, and doggone it I like him.

Groundhog Day- I’m going to go ahead and say it, despite not seeing what everyone says to be classics such as Caddyshack and Animal House, Groundhog Day is Ramis’ greatest achievement.  I didn’t see this movie until I was in my twenties, and I watched it twice in a row.  And then the next day again (I was off from work, sue me).  This is a perfect example of how comedy can kick a straight up drama’s ass.  I felt more for the characters in this movie than much more “serious” fare.  Every choice made on Groundhog Day was the right one.

Ramis also had his hands on movies like Multiplicity, Analyze This and Analyze That, Back to School, and even wrote the Ghostbusters video game with Dan Aykroyd.  And it is on Ghostbusters I want to end (I am a nerd, after all).  As soon as Ramis’ death had been reported, the question of whether the long-gestating Ghostbusters 3 would die with him was also asked.  Because when someone dies, that’s the biggest concern (sarcasm for the smart-ass impaired).

The studio says the flick will go on without Ramis, and Ernie Hudson (Winston Zedmore) said there could be no Ghostbusters if Ramis was not involved.  I mean no disrespect to Hudson, but I’d like to go ahead and disagree with ya there.  No matter what the story or Ramis’ part in it (the script was actually written by others with the blessing of both Ramis and Aykroyd), Ghostbusters as a franchise is bigger than any one individual.  That much was evident with the decision to continue the production without star Bill Murray.  And that was with the other three major stars agreeing to that scenario.

So it seems to me that halting or discontinuing production of the movie is a knee jerk reaction by those who mourn the loss of one of the property’s creators, especially if the movie was to pass the baton to a younger generation as has been reported for years.

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all, is let’s mourn the guy and celebrate his work.  Rent it, stream it, watch it, and it goes without saying, but enjoy it.  Except Year One.  No one can enjoy Year One.  Then, when some time has passed, let’s get a third Ghostbusters movie out there and use it an excuse to further honor the contributions of Harold Ramis by making it awesome.

I said trailer.  Because nerds get excited for movie previews.  The very nature of nerdom has it built into our DNA that we cannot get enough of something even prior to its release.  Nerds crave information- plot details, casting announcements, and even though many feign disgust towards their ease of availability in the digital age…SPOLIERS.  Any tidbit nerds can devour satiates, at least temporarily, that which only the final product can fully satisfy (and even then it’s usually through multiple viewings or experience of said item).

One of the greatest examples of the trailer reigning supreme came before the Internet exploded.  It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…the 1990’s.  Attached to prints of the movie Meet Joe Black starring Brad Pitt was the first trailer for Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace.  It was a big deal.  This was going to be the first Star Wars movie since the Original Trilogy decades before.  This was going to be a Star Wars movie made with today’s technology, much the same way the Original Trilogy was made “special” with “enhancements.”

And before it was released to be ridiculed by disappointed fanboys and girls around the globe for all its faults, including deesa Jar Jar ace-hole, the first trailer rocketed the movie Meet Joe Black to the number one movie the weekend it came out.  Star Wars fans paid to get into the theatre to watch the trailer, and then got the hell out of there before having their senses destroyed by the movie it preceded.  I don’t remember the estimates that have been done, but I believe ticket sales attributed to the Phantom Menace trailer were in the millions.  See kids, what we used to have to go through before Apple and Flash and You Tube?

Nowadays, we have trailer releases that are events unto themselves, online and on television (where I saw the Phantom Menace trailer, thanks Entertainment Tonight for saving me from Meet Joe Black).  There are even teaser trailers for trailers.  How ridiculous is that getting?  No matter how insane it seems, and how much it is badmouthed, nerds eat it up.  And eaten it was this week.  As mentioned earlier, Marvel Studios released the first trailer for one of their two movies coming out this year- The Guardians of the Galaxy.

Full disclosure, I know (or should say knew) nothing about GOTG except for having heard the name.  I was unfamiliar with them and the story of this apparent band of criminal misfits.  But since learning about the movie, who is involved in its making, and what it could mean for all Marvel movies, I’ve soaked up as much as I could come across and have been looking forward to this for some time.  The excitement level really is only second to that I felt before the release of The Avengers.

I’ve been jazzed about GOTG for the pure idea behind it.  I like the concept; I like the promo stuff that’s been released such as the concept art and first line-up image of the “heroes.”  The overall idea just sounded fun and exciting, and a great way to open up a new chapter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  It’s like the Marvel version of Star Wars, a comparison only strengthened by the new trailer.  If Star Lord (Chris Pratt, who is going to be cast in every movie soon, I think) isn’t what would happen if you combine the genes of Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, I don’t know what else he is.

The guy oozed Han’s charm and smarm, and there was that hint of a character rising to a higher calling and being the hero like Luke.  I see a good arc for Star Lord in the movie.  Aside from him, the other characters looked great.  Drax the Destroyer seemed like an alien Hulk, Groot appeared to have a sense of humor and some action chops not normally seen in walking, talking trees, Gamora is the hottest green alien since the original Orion slave girl, and Rocket…well, he’s an effing raccoon shooting machine guns.  How does that not appeal to the broadest base?

Bringing these and other characters to life in the movie is a cast that even from the trailer is amazing.  The aforementioned Chris Pratt (recently voicing Emmett in The Lego Movie), pro wrestler Dave Batista as Drax, Vin Diesel and Bradley Cooper voicing Groot and Rocket respectively, and new Uhura Zoe Saldana as Gamora.  Lee Pace, Benecio Del Toro (seen during the end credits of Thor: The Dark World), Karen Gillan of Doctor Who fame, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, and Djimon Hounsou all help to round out the cast.

Helming this orgy of fun and space adventure is James Gunn.  Aside from involvement in the appalling live-action Scooby Doo movies, Gunn did have a hand in writing the underrated 2004 Dawn of the Dead, had a gritty, realistic superhero dark comedy in 2010’s Super (which I still haven’t seen- BAD Adam!), wrote the Buffy meets zombies type game Lollipop Chainsaw, and wrote and directed one of the quirkiest, funniest movies I could ever recommend- Slither.  Seriously, if you haven’t seen Slither, see it. [He’s also BFF’s with Nathan Fillion, what does that tell you – B.]

One other thing that’s got me excited, as I already mentioned, is how this is going to quite possibly UNLEASH the MCU into awesomeness we didn’t know could be achieved after the awesomeness that has come before it.  Looking at all the Marvel Studios movies as a puzzle, this seems as though it could be a pretty ginormous piece, reaping seeds sown long before it.  When Thanos made his appearance at the end of The Avengers, nerds assumed he would be the big bad in the sequel.  So when Ultron was announced for Avengers 2, it had some people scratching their heads.

It might be safe to assume after what we’ve seen since, that Thanos is going to require more buildup than Phase 2 of the MCU is going to deliver.  We’ve since had the introduction of the Infinity Stones (the Infinity Gauntlet having been glimpsed in Thor), two of which have been “collected.”  Judging from the GOTG trailer, it looks as though the orb Star Lord is seen trying to abscond with may perhaps be another of the stones.  If it’s not, I’m going to go ahead and guess something else in the movie is.  If it sounds awesome, and complicated, and intertwined, that’s because it is.  It’s the kind of storytelling I live for.

Who do we have to thank for all this?  You’ll never guess.  Ready for it? THOR.  Yup, the god of thunder is responsible for this cosmic goodness.  Iron Man and one sentence from Samuel L. Jackson might have jumpstarted Marvel Studios and the interconnecting adventures to follow, but Thor and the intro to Asgard made this outer spacey googly moogly possible.  In what is quickly becoming one of the gems of the MCU, the Thor movies brought in the cosmic element, making the character and everything that goes with him a plausible possibility in the realm of Tony, Cap, and the Hulk.

Gone are the superstitions and mythology about the character, explaining his otherworldliness as an alien race with technology that seems mystical to those unacquainted with anything outside of Earth.  Beyond the introduction, it was Thor’s mischievous brother Loki who was lost to the realms and allied himself with forces following Thanos.  It was Thor’s foe in The Dark World who meant to use an Infinity Stone (the Aether), which was later delivered to The Collector (same as the information that the Tesseract from Avengers was on Asgard), a would be agent of Thanos.

After the most certain turmoil in The Avengers: Age of Ultron (on a reportedly personal, intimate level), the character and situational strides that will undoubtedly occur in the next Captain America, Thor, and Phase 3 movies, we are more than likely going to see a major smack down between heroes, villains, and everyone in between.

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all, is based on the trailer and all other promotional material thus far, in addition to what it could mean for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I am looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy like I can’t even believe.  Lets just hope it’s more A New Hope than Phantom Menace.

**P.S.- I promise I’ll lay off on the Marvel love fest for a few weeks, until they do something else really cool.**

I am, of course, talking about ABC’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. From this point on, however, I will refer to it as AOS because I frankly don’t need to point out it’s a Marvel creation and put in periods every time I call it by name. That’s just ridiculous, and unfortunately that’s not where the ridiculousness ends.

Before you go face palming yourself and lamenting I will be again complaining about something (I feel like an old nerd on his nerd porch during some of these posts), let me tell you right now- I like AOS. I haven’t missed an episode the night they air, Tuesdays 8 p.m. CST. I even have one of my part-time jobs that evening that I don’t do half-assed, but I certainly don’t go above and beyond to make sure I can get home as soon as possible.

You might be wondering, “Why don’t you just record it, Adam?” I do record it. I actually like it that much, and I wish to avoid potential spoilers from the Interweb. Tuesday night is an event night in our house with Agent Phil Coulson and his merry band of junior partners. That being said, it’s also not the show I want it to be. Not that I want it to be anything else subject-wise, just more excitement-wise. In the words of Jim Gordon, it’s not the show I deserve, but it’s the show I need.

Perhaps that’s where the problem is. AOS is serving a purpose, and unfortunately that purpose is to service or be a part of a larger story. No matter how much the producers say the opposite, or tout AOS as its own entity, this show ultimately pays lip service to something much bigger than itself. And it’s the smallest piece among many pieces of a much bigger puzzle. That is one of the drawbacks of having such a large, interconnecting media universe as Marvel Studios has built. It can’t all be The Avengers. However, I don’t think its place in the larger scheme is entirely to blame.

There are other things to consider. Plot elements, characters, et cetera. I’ve got a few of them. At least, some of the things that seem to be “problems” for the show. The one big thing against the show is perception. Audiences were expecting it to be mini-Avengers, I think. It was never meant to be that. Let’s put it this way, using another comic property as an example.

If this were the universe of the Men in Black, with the movies being the movies, the television show would be about the MIB agents that file the paperwork for the cases, and clean the offices. That’s what this is. AOS is the daily grind of the normal, ordinary people among the extraordinary. Not that it’s bad, it’s just not what people expected. But because the audience is yearning for what they expected, there are a few things that have stood in the way of bonafide success for the show:

1. Coulson Lives…and the explanation thus far as to how has been, well, lame. The show has gone half a season with various teases suggesting something isn’t quite right in the world concerning the status of Coulson’s existence. There are things that have been said by characters in regards to lack of muscle memory that almost imply he has none because it’s not his original body. Other hints have been dropped, but so far all we have is the information that multiple surgeries have been performed, including one on his exposed brain leading to the ever-present ‘Tahiti is a magical place’ reference. The episode in which that particular nugget was revealed did supply some of the best acting by Clark Gregg, especially as his character begs the doctors to let him die. Hopefully, and we’ll get to this a little later, there is something more afoot.
2. The characters…They’ve been okay. They’ve gotten better. Some are obviously much more fun for the writers to bring to life. Fitz and Simmons are a hoot. I like them very much. Big brooding, serious agent is kind of cookie cutter, as is the hacker, Skye (though, her story seems to be blossoming, albeit at a slower than welcome pace- again, more later). Ming Na Wen can be sort of fun, but I think she’s not handled quite right.
3. The guest stars…Gunn from the show Angel is here, and apparently he’s Deathlok. It was teased from before the start of the show that he was an established comic character, but all we knew was the name Mike Peterson. It’s taken about three to four appearances for his arc to get going. There’s that pace again…Otherwise we’ve had a few lesser-known baddies, and a few neat actors stop by, including some sweet Asgardian appearances.
4. Secret programs named after bugs…Centipede is apparently the brains behind the evil-doing operations on the show. There’s a temptress in a flower dress, implants that kill unwilling assassins, and a formula for super soldiers that takes a cue from Extremis as portrayed in Iron Man 3. Oh, there’s also some clairvoyant person who has been named but not seen. For over half a season there has been build-up after build-up, and not too much payoff, a la the death of Coulson. Hopefully the steam doesn’t run out before the train hits the station.
5. Pacing, build-up, payoff, and all around general mysteries…If I’ve set up any theme at all, it’s this- get to the juicy bits already. This show was co-created by Joss Whedon, who has a great track record in his storytelling of setting up for future events without the audience even realizing it. Things from episodes earlier come back to bite the kiesters of the characters involved. Hell, on the show Angel, storylines continued a season later. But, in that case, the audience didn’t know something was coming.

Here, we know Coulson died and something ain’t right on the western front. The foreshadow isn’t necessary. The shadow has been fored already. Whedon’s shows also have a tendency to start slow, and I don’t think this is a good place for that. The story started back in 2008 when Iron Man hit the big screen. As much as everyone wants this to stand alone, I’m not sure that it can. And the moments when it shines, it doesn’t stand-alone.

References to Thor: The Dark World, and the death of Bucky Barnes, and things going on in S.H.I.E.L.D. as an organization work because they have weight, they have consequences. That is where Whedon and his stable of players excel- when dealing with the weight and consequences of choices. Unfortunately, the audience is looking for payoff to the movies, and in the absence of something heavy happening on the show, they’ll get impatient for anything, anything at all to happen.

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all, is the show isn’t bad, but there’s definite room for improvement. The danger with doing a write up like this before the end of the season is the home stretch could provide some mind blowing awesomeness/reveals and make me look like a total jackass. I have a feeling the closer we get to the next Captain America flick, the show will tie more directly into that movie and will impact as well as be impacted going into a second season. I sure hope so, because for all its faults ABC’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. can indeed be a little Tahiti.

**P.S.- The last few episodes appear to be on this track as the story and development have grown leaps and bounds. Unfortunately, there was only one new episode after the now mandatory winter break, and then a couple weeks off until the next episode, after which there has been another few weeks off for the Olympics I assume. That can sometimes be the other Whedon-killer…time slot and scheduling.**