A slightly intoxicated Sammi and Beau are joined by returning guest Karolinn and first-time guest Brian to discuss the 2015 Straight outta Salt Lake City series Austentatious, which asks “what would happen if the Dashwood sisters, Emma Woodhouse, and Elizabeth Bennet were all single career gals who lived on a series of sound stages? There is little here to recommend the series, from creepy, miscast, and poorly adapted characters to cheap sets and some rampant misogyny. If you were considering watching this, our advice would be “don’t.”

Warning to listeners, this might be our most profanity-riddled episode yet.

The Good: 

The purple couch was nice. The conceit behind the premise is a lot of fun, at least.

The Bad: 

All of it. Darcy is a sexist asshole, Marianne Dashwood is five-alarm angry all the time and is prepared to let her sister be homeless because she hates those leopard-print pillows THAT MUCH. Emma and Knightley the only tolerable characters (just barely), Elizabeth Bennet is…completely unrecognizable in terms of her personality, her values, and her goals. The less said about Edward Ferrars, IRS, the better.

The Ugly: 

Horrible mischaracterization, rampant misogyny, more Collins grossness that once again makes light of making a woman feel unsafe.

Verdict: 

The last time we review anything made in Utah. 

Lizzie Bennet Diaries Part 1

Lizzie Bennet Diaries Part 2

Lizzie Bennet Diaries Part 3 

Lizzie Bennet Diaries Part 4 

Lizzie Bennet Diaries Part 5

The Good: 

The characterizations are so on-point here, from the darling Jane to the rambunctious Lydia. The writing is sharp and smart and modern. The relationships develop in a very real way. When the characters argue or disagree, we feel it because we’ve lived it!

The Bad: 

Lizzie herself can be a lot to handle sometimes! To make her a truly modern girl, she’s written as a young woman who thinks she knows best for everyone in her life except herself. Like Elizabeth Bennet, she does not truly begin to appreciate the people in her life (be it Charlotte or Darcy or Lydia) until she learns to recognize her own faults and begin to address them. As the saying goes, know thyself. 

The Ugly: 

Not much to complain about here but I will say that this series gives us a Wickham who is TRULY vile. He doesn’t go around wearing a hat that says “BAD GUY” – his villainy lies in his charm, as always, and what he does not just to Lizzie but to Gigi and Lydia is beyond the pale. The writers and actors took some big chances with this character, and it paid off!

Verdict: 

Probably our favorite so far!

Death Comes To Pemberley was directed by Daniel Percival and stars Anna Maxwell Martin, Matthew Rhys, Matthew Goode and Jenna Coleman.

The Good: 

Unlike a lot of movies we’ve watched for this podcast, the sets, costumes and production values were all first-rate. (Though Elizabeth’s gowns lived on the frumpy side). James Norton, Matthew Goode and Jenna Coleman were really invested in their parts and gave them their all, and we liked seeing glimpses of the childhood friendship between Darcy and Wickham. The Bennets and Lady Catherine being troublesome in-laws was a particularly nice touch but we would have liked to have seen more of them or at least gotten a glimpse of Bingley.

The Bad: 

Who are these characters? This unsure woman bears little resemblance to our witty heroine Elizabeth. This shouting man couldn’t be Mr. Darcy. WHO IS THIS GUY because that is NOT Colonel Fitzwilliam. We need more than Georgiana Darcy saying that Elizabeth has brought laughter to Pemberley, we need to see some laughter. The character misfires lost our attention and the many, many convoluted B-plots couldn’t make us care.

The Ugly: 

Do you mean to seriously tell us that ELIZABETH DARCY would get up on the gallows waving around a signed confession? That really was the low point for us, and thankfully it was nearly the end.

Verdict: 

Watch if you want something to make you angry and bored at the same time.

The Good: 

First-time director Byrum Geisler does an excellent job outlining the division of class between the wealthy educated southern gents and their blue-collar counterparts. The setting felt incredibly real, and the sets were all chosen with care. Nothing looked too generic or staged. The Appalachian backdrop was stunningly beautiful and the actors, while perhaps untried, all turned in decent performances. It was very clear that everyone involved in this project was personally invested and wanted it to work very much. I especially enjoyed Chase Conner’s turn as broody working man Lee Darcy (I look forward to seeing more of him in the future) and the interpretation of Kitty and Lydia as a couple of happy, successful gay men who are the light of this movie.

The Not-to-our-tastes: 

We hesitate to use “bad” here because, as we said at the top of the show, we realize that this movie wasn’t made for us. That being said…there was very little humor in this movie. I understand that the journey of self-discovery that Lee is on is a serious story line (that in real life rural Virginia could have serious consequences) but there was very little of the sparkling wit and verbal repartee that is such an important part of Pride and Prejudice. We also would have liked to have seen more affection between men in this movie, even if it was just a hug, the brief squeeze of a shoulder or the touch of a hand. There is a lot more time dedicated to Jane and Bingley’s heterosexual attraction than the brief, fleeting kiss we get between the two male leads at the end (which quickly pans away to a tree trunk, because we hadn’t seen enough of those yet?) Even some affectionate interaction between Ben and George while they were dating would have been a nice touch. Basically, the movie didn’t quite go far enough.

The Ugly

The Cathy character was quite nasty. We’re not saying she wasn’t a necessary part of the story, but that doesn’t mean we have to like her.

Verdict: 

We are glad that it was made, even if we wanted it to be more than it was. We hope this will be the vanguard for future gay re-imaginings of Austen’s work.

Bride and Prejudice was directed by Gurinder Chadha and Stars Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Martin Henderson

The Good:

The clothes, the costumes, the smart cultural subtext. This movie succeeds on every level that A Latter Day Comedy fails on. The songs are hilarious, there’s a bizarre Ashanti cameo, elephants, and Rory Gilmore. Aishwarya Rai is a living goddess.

The Bad: 

Martin Henderson is fine in that he’s just okay as Darcy. He doesn’t really give us much and is just a blandly handsome block of wood through most of them movie.

The Ugly:

Not much to say here, except maybe some suddenly relevant points on America as the new imperialist and the western obsession with status and ownership.

Verdict: 

A delight all around, an incredibly silly romp and an excellent way to spend a hungover morning. Special thanks to Robin!  Please check out Drunk Austen on all their social media!

Sammi and Beau are joined by two very special guests – Brian Skinner and Josh Hollis of The Predict-O-Cast! In this episode the fearsome four discuss adult men who can’t dress themselves, embarrassing singing, therapy horses, swiss cheese, limousines, and lotion. SO MUCH LOTION. What’s that smell? It’s fruit, flowers, and a whole lotta bull. Also, despite the inoffensive movie we watched, the language gets a little salty, so listen with discretion.

Scents and Sensibility was directed by Brian Brough and stars Ashley Williams, Maria Sokoloff, Nick Zano, and Brad Johnson.

The Good: 

Look, there’s a lot to unpack here. As our guests point out, this movie is light, breezy, moves at a good pace. Ashley Williams is lovely even if this script is out of this world bizarre. The adult contemporary soundtrack is BONKERS and there’s some hamfisted motivation on behalf of poor, forgotten Margaret Dashwood (and what kind of a 16 year old prefers to be called Margaret?) There were a lot of funny moments, though not in the way that the movie intended, and it kept us entertained despite itself. Also, we’d happily welcome a sponsorship from Fat Cats, “where the real people go.”

The Bad: 

As we’ve come to expect from a lot of these adaptations, the costumes and sets look like castoffs from Windows 95 tutorial videos. John Willoughby and Edward Ferrars’ clothes are particularly heinous. Frannie Ferrars is painful to watch at all times.

The Ugly: 

This movie lost all of our goodwill with the final “Where are they now” title card featuring Willoughby marrying an heiress (with a pained expression) who maybe doesn’t align with this director’s standard of beauty. HA! He got his, having to marry a FAT LADY. So, to quote Sammi, “Fuck You, Movie.”

Verdict

Not remotely a Jane Austen movie apart from the names and some minor circumstances.

Lost in Austen was directed by Dan Zeff and stars Jemima Rooper, Elliot Cowan, Hugh Bonneville and Alex Kingston

The Good: 

This miniseries is just funny as hell. Jemima Rooper really shows off her comedy chops in this with the help of the effervescent Tom Riley as the most adorable and unexpected Wickham of all time. If you don’t believe me here’s the proof. Aside from the obvious standouts of Rooper and Riley, the cast is excellent. Tom Mison takes an inspired, lovelorn turn as Bingley and Hugh Bonneville and Alex Kingston are perfectly cast as Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Christina Cole, though perhaps typecast, is such the ideal “frosty knickers” Caroline Bingley that I’m amazed she’s never played this role before. And let’s not forget Lindsay Duncan as a refined Lady Catherine that still manages to bumble through the last part of the series.

The Bad: 

Look, we’re not in love with the Georgiana/Wickham subplot in this version. Making a young, impressionable character lie about sexual assault out of jealousy is just…not okay.

The Ugly: 

Mister Finger-Sniffing-Through-The-Pants-Zeal-of-the-Lord Collins

Metropolitan is written and directed by Whit Stillman and stars Carolyn Farina, Edward Clements, Chris Eigeman, and Taylor Nichols

The Good:

This movie gave us a lot to chew on and, as we discuss in the show, is more intellectually stimulating than our usual fare for the podcast. The concept, structure, and dialogue all earned high marks from us, but it might be Stillman’s celebration of Austen’s wit and morals (with a dash of romance) that put this movie over the top from merely ‘good’ to ‘great’ for us. And it was great seeing Chris Eigeman playing what is essentially a younger version of Digger Stiles. It makes us wonder if Amy Sherman-Palladino wrote his Gilmore Girls character specifically for him.

The Bad: 

There wasn’t much bad here, some bandying about with the word “slut” was a tad cringe-inducing, and dates the movie more than any of the costumes or sets ever could.

The Ugly: 

Rick Von Sloneker, both in character and in person.

Verdict: 

A refreshingly intelligent movie and probably the purest nod to Austen we’ve seen. It made us both rethink Mansfield Park, so that’s saying something.

A word of warning to listeners: Due to some audio snafu, Karolinn’s mic was not picking up. We apologize for this.

From Prada to Nada was directed by Angel Gracia and Stars Camilla Belle, Alexa Vega, Nicholas D’Agosto, Wilder Valderrama, and Kuno Becker

The Good: 

We loved the strong sibling relationship and familiar theme of this movie, and it does an excellent job of putting Sense & Sensibility in a modern context. We loved the addition of embracing one’s heritage. Wilder Valderrama’s eyes, arms, pretty much all of Wilder Valderrama is A-OK with us. And, of course, ShrubDad.

The Bad: 

The dialogue is often rough and frequently cheesy. There are quite a few jokes that don’t really land. Camilla Belle’s character seems to be more prickly than Elinor Dashwood ever was. Edward, as usual, leaves us wanting less. ShrubDad.

The Ugly: 

Gross student/teacher relations, too much Lorca name-dropping, Camilla Belle’s spray tan and sack dress. ShrubDad.

Verdict: 

SHRUBDAD IS ALL THINGS

Podcast Music by Nicolai Heidlas

Podcast art by Josh Hollis