(Dramatic music fades in, loud pulsing drumbeat, tuba and trombone join in, string section plays a sweet melody, Kenny G and Chuck Mangione trade playing leads, and piano solo by Paul Williams) Last time on the Almighty Johnsons; the mystery of how Axl and Zeb pay for their rent is still not addressed, Anders is a condescending creepy douchebag, Mike is still the Leonardo/Fun vacuum of the bunch, Olaf is a bad dad and rude dude, Ty and Dawn (Anders’ assistant) have a cute budding romance, and the goddesses, the most interesting part of the show, are slowly getting more screen time finally. In case you forgot who’s who; Axl is Odin, Mike is Ullr, Anders is Bragi, Olaf is Baldr, Ty is Hoor, Zeb is irritating and Gaia and Dawn are human (music fades out).

Episode 5, “This is Not Washing Powder, My Friend,” opens with Axl, Gaia, and Zeb cleaning their flat. It’s a cartoony mess like the whole floor is covered in clothes, food, trash, and other things to the point where it’s impossible to live there comfortably. Gaia’s dad is visiting. He’s a gay, vegetarian hippie. Zeb and Axl make gay and vegetarian jokes that aren’t necessary. The gay jokes aren’t outright homophobic but still it adds nothing. They clean up. Gaia goes to work because she’s the only one with a job. Axl has a doctor’s appointment with a Dr. Grey. Turns out it’s a setup by the goddesses, namely Michele who is also a doctor. Axl goes, there is no Dr. Grey. He leaves angry and throws away the letter from the hospital, stupid move. Axl and Zeb are at the drive thru and going through assorted change in Axl’s car. Zeb finds a bag of high quality cocaine. He decides for the both of them to sell it. They assume it’s Anders’ because that makes perfect sense. Spoiler Alert it isn’t. It was Michele’s plan to stop Axl from finding Frigg. Things escalated very quickly. Also Anders suggests going to churches to find his prize aka Frigg, which happens in the next episode.

Axl goes back home. Gaia is cooking a vegetarian meal which he has a problem with it because he’s an asshole. Gaia’s dad and Axl argue over stupid stuff that doesn’t matter. Police burst in, looking for the coke, they find weed instead and arrest Gaia’s dad. Axl tells them about the hospital visit but since he has no hospital letter they don’t believe him. Gaia’s angry. Mike doesn’t believe Axl about the drugs. Anders figures out the goddesses are behind this. He has a plan: get Ty to identify the goddess at the hospital and plant the drugs on her. Anders and Ty identify Michele immediately at the hospital. Zeb got screwed out of the coke by two young performance artists. Axl tracks down Zeb and raids the home of the young artsy dudes. He beheads a mannequin and takes the drugs. Axl and Zeb try to sneak into the hospital in a not sneaky way but Anders stops them. He plants the drugs on Michelle and flirts with her. She plays along with it. Oh yea, Gaia might leave the whole time but she doesn’t and Axl almost kinda tells her how he feels for her which keeps her there. He talks for her a lot in this one which got irritating fast and her character has barely developed into anything so far; end of Episode 5.

Episode 6, “Goddesses, Axl, Come in All Forms,” opens with an older woman outside a small farmhouse. She stares deeply and meaningfully into a beautiful night sky. A large man in the background holding a hammer (hint) tries to get her but a meteorite crashes through the night sky aimed straight for the woman. It’s a direct hit. Nothing is left. Olaf wakes in a sweat and tells his grandsons/cousins. Ty and Mike have lives to live and skip it. They arrive as two of the goddesses show up, Michele aka Sjofn, goddess of love, and Ingrid aka Snotra, goddess of wisdom. Finally they meet. Olaf and Ingrid instantly click with each other. Anders and Michele not really but he’s trying to bang her regardless. They spot the possible Frigg. The game is on. During the church service the possible Frigg cries during a eulogy, a sign of Frigg was a woman weeping. It’s a funeral for her grandmother. It’s a stretch to say it’s Frigg. Back in the city, Ty and Dawn are hanging out a bunch and she assumes he’s gay. Anders told her Ty is gay as a (not) funny joke because Anders is terrible. Ty asks Mike for women advice and Mike doesn’t have good advice of course.

At the funeral Olaf and Ingrid detect something off about this large man tenderizing chunks of meat. They suspect he’s Thor. Olaf and Ingrid approach and ask the dude. He proudly says yes. This isn’t good. Axl, Anders, and Michele are trying to woo the possible Frigg. Ingrid and Olaf pull them away and warn them that Thor is here. Thor is like Solomon Grundy or King Shark, a big dumb guy that’s insane. Everyone but Axl is scared. He’ll learn soon enough. Ty tells Dawn how he feels and she feels the same way. It’s really adorable. They have sex in Anders bed while he’s at the funeral. Mike is barely in this one. Back to Thor; Thor introduces himself to the gods and goddesses. He laughs a hardy, loud laugh when he learns that Axl is Odin then kneels before him. Axl proves himself by out throwing hammers with him and killing one of his goats. He has an ‘ugly’ daughter named Delphine, (she’s cute, they really rag on her for looking not like a model), who might be Frigg. Spoiler Alert she isn’t. Thor kicks out the other gods so that Axl can have his way with Delphine. Thor traps Axl there until he woos her. She’s pregnant and finds Axl ugly. She’s in love with another man, Ross aka the baby daddy. Delphine confronts her dad after Axl convinces her to. They leave. Thor punches Anders in the face. It’s great; end of Episode 6.

These episodes were my favorites so far for a few reasons. Mike is barely in them, so he isn’t sucking the fun out of everything. Side note, he’s the god of skiing and games and still the boring one somehow. Ty and Dawn flirting and hanging out is delightful and fun a la Mulder and Scully. Their chemistry for me really works. It feels authentic and real. Thor was pretty fun. Delphine is cute, they make it seem like she’s the ugliest creature to walk the earth but they’re wrong. I didn’t enjoy Axl with these he got a little too stupid and childish. He’s 21 not 12. His mentality felt like he’s in middle school. It’s grating after a while. My opinion stands however; I don’t know if I like this show but it’s very watchable. I want more of Michele, Thor, and the goddesses. Anders is a creep. Next up we have Episode 7, “Bad Things Happen,” and Episode 8, “I Can Give You Frigg.”

The show opens with Axl Johnson, played by Emmett Skiliton, going to a liquor store for party supplies. It’s his 21st birthday party that night. There’s a mysterious lady wielding a knife parallel parked scoping out our birthday boy. He crosses the street. The lady tries to runs over him. She apologizes. They go to the party. Axl gets some one on one time with her jumping on the trampoline, you know that classic move. They hook up on a trampoline the best place for hooking up. She pulls out that knife. An earthquake conveniently hits at very moment. She loses the knife. Party’s over and everyone leaves including that mystery girl. He hangs with his roommate, Shakira, rest of the night. The mystery lady in league with Norse goddesses that are after Axl for unknown reasons.

Now, we’re introduced to Axl’s brothers. There is Ty Johnson aka Hoor, played by Jared Turner, the god of winter. He has a refrigerator repair business. Anders Johnson aka Bragi, played by Dean O’Gorman, he’s the god of poetry and the ladies’ man. Mike Johnson aka Ullr, played by Tim Balme, he’s god of the hunt and games. He’s the boring one like Cyclops in X-Men. Olaf Johnson aka Odin, played by Ben Barrington, he’s allfather of the gods and the family oracle. He’s Axl’s cousin. Individually they see crazy weird things happening around New Zealand including a sea of blood, a bizarre symbol in a field, earthquake, and others. This can’t possibly mean anything. Olaf warns them that there is one weird sign left then they need to worry about, Odin with two hearts. That probably won’t happen. They are planning something special for Axl’s 21st but what could it be?

They pick up Axl and take him to the woods. At this point it’s revealed they’re Norse gods in human flesh bags. They have to hide their powers from the public. Axl is freaked out and then learns Olaf isn’t his cousin but his grandfather, wait…what!? He is given a magic sword and told to strip naked, hold the sword high, and go into a magic circle. He does. Lightning from the sky zaps the sword with a mighty blast knocking everyone to the ground. Olaf is out cold. Our birthday boy suddenly feels like a god and doesn’t seem to care about his grandfather cousin. They rush Olaf to Mike’s house. He’s mumbling crazy stuff. Axl is Odin now. So who is Olaf?

A second 21st birthday party is going on. Olaf is out. Axl gets drunk and crazy. He meets a pretty lady, a secret goddess, who challenges him to catch her. He accepts the task. She runs into the night. He follows. The rest of the Johnsons don’t know where Axl. Olaf is awake, and dancing like Johnny Travolta in his prime. The goddess, shoots Axl with an arrow with a special heart shaped arrowhead. He catches the first one but she fires again. She hits in between his ribs, a second heart. The gods and goddesses are very upset by this. This is the one thing no one wanted. Axl now has to find his soul mate Frigg, if not then he and his family will die. End of Ep.1 “It’s Kind of a Birthday Present.”

Axl is out of the hospital and hanging out with his bro, Anders. Since he’s the one that gets laid a lot sex comes up. He has to sleep his way through New Zealand to find Frigg. Axl is still a virgin. Anders proceeds to shame and insult him but promises to get him with the head cheerleader of the basketball team he’s part owner of. Basically, he becomes his brother’s pimp. It’s gets a little/lot sexist here and that’s just the beginning. Mike and his human wife, Valerie, are having problems with having a baby. Do you get the theme of this one? Meanwhile during all this, Axl is casually seeing Shakira’s friend Jaime. Shakira really likes Axl and versa vice but no one has made a movie. Anders keeps shaming him for being a virgin. Shakira is jealous about the Jaime thing but is nice about it and stays out of it.

Mike visits the hospital. His buddy Rob, who’s been in coma, is talking. He’s mumbling things like Olaf. It’s all Mike’s fault for the coma. Later that day Axl shows up in the locker room at the Basketball stadium. In order to impress this blond bombshell he has to be the mascot. He reluctantly accepts, he gave up a date with Jaime for this. The other mascot is there. He’s a rabbit. The game starts and the bunny man asserts his dominance. Cut to the end of the game and the mascots are locked in combat. Everyone sees it. The fight is broken up. Anders uses his powers of poetry to woo the cheerleader and convinces her be into Axl. They go to Anders’ bachelor pad. Anders hangs in the family room while his brother has sex for the first time in his bedroom. It gets weirder. She falls asleep at some point and he finishes. He freaks out. It’s gross and uncomfortable. Yep, the climax is a date rape joke. He runs completely naked into the family room where the rest of Johnsons are angrily berating Anders for abusing his powers. The brothers leave. Mike warns Axl about using his powers. Jaime doesn’t like Axl anymore because of the pimp situation, so Anders ruined that for him. Also Rob psychically talks to Mike. End of Ep. 2, “This is Where Duty Starts.”

The tone of the show was not as goofy as I was expecting but it’s only the first two. In general the show is has weird tonal issues i.e. it switches from goofy to serious not that successfully. It feels unintentionally jarring. When the tone switches it gets kinda dull. Emmett Skiliton is a little grading at times but overall good as a kid who just got superpowers with the fate of his family on him. It’s enjoyable. The goddesses are barely in it. I get it, it’s setup for later but they add a nice balance to the overt bro-ness of everything else. The performances are good. A few people are irritating but they aren’t seen very much yet. Next up Ep. 3, “God’s Gift to Zebras” and Ep.4, “You Gotta Love Life, Baby.”