So what happens when characters that not even comic book fans really recognize or want to see on film make that leap to the big screen?  As we saw last year with Guardians of the Galaxy (yeah, comic fans nowadays HEARD of them, but no one was clamoring for a movie), fricking gold.  I didn’t know much, if anything, about the intergalactic squad of misfits, but when I heard the description of characters and whatnot, I was all in.

Not even a year later, Marvel’s Ant-Man is hitting the big screen, and fanboys have been howling online as to why he’s getting his own movie before other, more “worthy” characters.  Though, at the same time there has been a large group of vocal supporters, mostly due to the fact that the project has been long percolating even before the creation of Marvel Studios as we know it.

Edgar Wright, co-writer and director of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End worked with partner Joe Cornish on the script for damn near a decade.  The reason given was the same old “to get it right.” However, one can assume with Wright’s busy schedule and the changing face of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, he had to keep altering it to be in line with everything.

Finally it was as fast-tracked as this project could ever get, and it was actually starting to catch some buzz (except from some of those pesky fanboys).  Ultimately, however, after Wright and Marvel working together for longer than most Hollywood marriages, it ended in the same way when Wright left the project.  From the sounds of it, Marvel really liked Wright’s vision, but wanted it Diet Wright (Now With More Marvel).

Peyton Reed (Bring it On, Yes Man, Down With Love) took over and star Paul Rudd did a few rewrites with Adam McKay (like every Will Ferrell movie ever).  These changes brought on some added worry for the project, but if I’ve learned anything from my time being a nerd who’s WAY too into movies- the gambles are the big pay offs.  Usually.

And in Marvel’s case, I think the changing of the guard, so to speak, is a welcome one.  The general public and geeks might still love Tony Stark and Robert Downey Jr playing the character, but there is some fatigue growing in regards to his solo silver screen escapades.

After all this set up, does Ant-Man deliver the goods and shut up the detractors?  You’d be hard pressed to find a lot of fault with the movie.  It might not be their best effort, but Ant-Man is the most FUN Marvel Studios has had this side of Rocket Raccoon in a long time.  There are moments that had an auditorium full of people laughing, and others that had them engaged in the action.  I was definitely one of those people.

We begin in the late 1980’s with a really bad CGI de-aged Michael Douglas as Hank Pym, a character who was the original Ant-Man and in the comics the creator of bad guy Ultron.  He’s having a meeting with Agent Carter (gorgeous at any age), Howard Stark (once again played by Mad Men guy), and some asshole who plays the role of mean business suit guy who wants to use powerful technology for nefarious reasons.

Pym tells them all to blow it out their ass and takes with him the Pym Particle, a substance used to decrease the distance between atoms (shrinking formula).

Fast forward to the present day and Scott Lang has just been released from prison for burglary (he’s one of the nicest criminals cause he’s like Robin Hood), and he tries to stay straight despite going back to hanging out and living with the kind of people that could make him relapse.  And he does, supposedly to loot a rich man’s vault in which he only finds a suit with a helmet.  So he takes it anyway.

You guessed it…it’s the Ant-Man suit!

Pym and Lang end up joining forces with each other and Pym’s daughter Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly, of who I am becoming a BIG fan) to steal tech from Pym’s usurped company that tries to replicate his shrinking shtick.  The culprit is Pym’s former protégé Darren Cross (Corey Stoll) who has such bad daddy issues with Pym one wonders what kind of messed up bullshit he had with his real father.

The normal hootenanny goes down of good versus evil with the twist of a heist movie, and a hero who can telepathically talk to and work with various species of ants.  And it really worked for me.  I like the characters and the actors cast to play them, especially Rudd who went to the Star-Lord school for heroism it seems, and most everyone else has their moments, too.  This flick also has the addition of a youngling in the form of Lang’s daughter, Cassie, a first for a Marvel movie to have a familial tie such as this.

The weakest point is probably going to have to be the villain.  Stoll is a great actor, and the Yellowjacket suit he eventually dons looks rad, but the daddy issue and businessman motivation is a little thin.  Though, if this movie does explore one thing I think is interesting it’s that those are the very people pulling the strings a lot of the time.

Sure, there are people transformed by circumstance and substances, but it’s the men and women in formal wear who are really mucking up the world (and universe). Captain America and Hulk might be very different super soldiers cut from the same cloth, but they are both the result of military desire.  Black Widow is who she is because of manipulative folks who want a weapon.  And Ant-Man and his foe are both essentially the pawns of others.

Talking with some friends after the movie, I’m a little disappointed in one regard to having the Marvel slate of movies laid out for the next couple years.  While there’s a Guardians sequel coming our way, Ant-Man is so far (as far as we know) being relegated to cameos or seemingly minor roles in that slate.  But I’d much rather see another Ant-Man than I would a Thor or even Iron Man.

My only fear, however, is that by the time we perhaps do get a direct sequel to this, the property will suffer the same fatigue and become another version of those heroes where we see them playing it just a little too safe.  For now though, Ant-Man is straddling the line quite well, and even though there might be a better, or at least different version we will never see, this one is good enough that we won’t think about it all that much.

P.S. – Marvel is back to form with a scene at the very end of the credits as well as a mid-credits bit.  Both are pretty sweet in their own right, and go to further both Ant-Man and the greater MCU.

Now, to recalculate the Marvel Movie Standings as has become tradition.  Where do I have Ant-Man fitting in with all the others?

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2. The Avengers
3. Guardians of the Galaxy
4. Iron Man

5. Ant-Man

6. Captain America: The First Avenger
7. Avengers: Age of Ultron
8. Iron Man 3
9. Thor: The Dark World
10. The Incredible Hulk
11. Thor

12. Iron Man 2

We discuss James Gunn’s superb Guardians of the Galaxy, Luc Besson’s derivative Lucy, Doctor Who and Hercules.

I had only ever heard of The Guardians of the Galaxy in passing. Being a fan of nerdery I have some history with the comic books, but not as extensive as to actually know the characters of Star Lord and pals, their back story, and their adventures. But as soon as I heard about this being an entry of the Marvel Studios Cinematic Universe, the concept, and the director- I was hooked.

I’ve always loved quirky stuff. I’ve always loved really good space adventures. And I’ve always loved things in the vein of a friggin talking raccoon shooting automatic weapons like some meth-addicted Yosemite Sam. Throw in writer-director James Gunn, whose movie Slither was awesome, and my sarcastic, nerdy sensibilities have been fully primed.

After the initial announcement, I remember seeing the first concept art of the whole gang I’ve come to know in a prison line-up. There was the aforementioned Star Lord (who?), Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, my new pet Rocket, and his pet Groot, a walking, kind-of-talking tree. The production image graced my desktop screen for several months. These characters had, well, character. Then there are the people who were to play them, as seen in the next release of basically the same image, except with the actors on a set. The production art had come to life. And that imagery pretty much sums up the people we’re following in the movie.

First, Chris Pratt as Star Lord, making women swoon and men jealous of his genuine Nathan Fillion/Harrison Ford-type swagger. Everything is awesome (hehe) where Pratt is concerned. Then we have every geek’s not-so-secret crush Zoe Saldana as Gamora.

Former “pro” wrestler Dave Bautista plays Drax the Destroyer, and I’m genuinely impressed with him in the role. Many reviews have even gone so far as to point to Bautista as being a stand out in the movie, even moreso than Rocket and Groot. Speaking of this movie’s Artoo and Threepio, the voice actors in the form of Bradley Cooper (Rocket) and Vin Diesel (Groot) seem to have been good ones. Many folks don’t give Diesel much credit, but for all his lines consisting of three words, he imbues them with a lot of feeling and context.

If the few still images weren’t enough, the trailer released, and I. Went. Bananas. I keep saying the single bad thing about this movie being released is that the trailer won’t be playing before every movie I see. The visuals that I was introduced to in the preview were fantastic, making sweet sci-fi love to my eye sockets. The look of the movie was the stuff of every nerd’s imagination. It brought back memories of beloved space operas, and earthbound adventures. All that was in the trailer only scratches the surface of the places this movie takes us.

The movie was first sold on the humor and queer attitude it was going for, and it landed perfectly. I laughed at every single joke, and so did just about everyone in the theater. And the music. THE MUSIC. I’ve been singing Hooked on a Feeling for months, ask my co-workers. Hell, it’s my ringtone. And I’m pretty sure ten hard-earned dollars will go to purchasing the soundtrack. I guess you could be a sour puss and cry about the lack of a whole lot of original score, but then you’d be missing the point.

Despite all this wonderful stuff being thrown at us, I can’t believe there are nerds who even consider not seeing this movie. How does it look unappealing to any lover of genre material, or who has ever picked up a comic book? I keep reading on chat boards and Facebook messages about how people were on the fence about it and somehow promotional materials have one way or another turned them off to seeing GotG. Shut the hell up. We’ve come too far in the cinema to start taking shit like this for granted. Ten years ago, this movie wouldn’t have even been possible. Hell, it’s still a hard sell (or so we thought). I’ve heard many non-nerds proclaiming it to look too cheesy (people who are lucky a certain nerd sitting in front of them in the theater did not punch them). Point is, we can’t afford to be snobby about stuff like this, especially when it’s so high quality and well done material.

I loved it. I bet you’ll love it. And people who didn’t think they’d love it are probably going to be kicking themselves. This thing had 100% on Rotten Tomatoes for the longest time, until some ass-wipe from the associated press came along and knocked it down into the 90’s (continued not-so-surprisingly by the a-holes at salon.com- do they ever like a movie?). GotG has so far been one of Marvel Studios’ best reviewed movies. Here’s hoping that the money is there opening weekend and beyond to fulfill the promise, and to assuage doubt. This seems to so far be the case. I know the sequel has already been announced, but the success for this movie means a lot to the MCU as we know it. Think about Nova having a movie. Think about the Kree and other aliens showing up more and more. GotG opens up the MCU in a cosmic way that Thor just couldn’t (though, I still give those movies credit for opening the door).

The day will come, too, when our friends the Guardians will hopefully meet our friends the Avengers. That day will not only be momentous for the coming together of the two groups, but for the kind of story that would make it possible. If we thought all our favorite Marvel heroes coming together was a big deal, I have a feeling by the time they meet the cosmos, it will look like small potatoes. For a universe as big as the MCU to have happened in six short years they way it has, that’s pretty amazing. In the immortal words of my favorite cycloptic African-American covert operative- “You think you’re the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you’ve become part of a bigger universe.”

Taking my rundown of how I place these movies from just a few months ago, here again is how I’d rank the movies of the MCU. Now with Guardians and electrolytes!
Had this movie not worked we wouldn’t be talking any of the other Marvel Studios films. The (mis)adventures of Tony Stark started not just a franchise, but with a little added sequence at the end of the credits began one of the biggest and most important sagas in cinematic history.
2. The Avengers
Marvel did what nerds have clamored for for decades- one movie merging multiple characters and franchises to bring together Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and the supporting characters fans have loved and come to love over the course of half a decade on the silver screen, and much longer in the comics.

3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Each Phase Two flick has been darker than the predecessors, and I’m going to guess it only gets darker. I not only want to see what comes in the next Avengers because of this, but the promise of Steve going after Bucky is almost (almost) more enticing right now.

4. Guardians of the Galaxy

It’s easy to get caught up in the hype of a movie like this or any of them on the list, and abandon all manner of objectivity. I have seen many proclaim this to be Marvel’s best movie ever (!), but I try to hold the choke collar just a bit on such an outlandish statement. Coming out the same summer as Cap 2 has made 2014 a very good year for Marvel, but upon further review, I have to say I prefer that film. Not that it’s better, or that Guardians isn’t good, I just think it will stand the test of further viewing more. That being said, anyone doesn’t like this movie, they’re gosh darn dumb. There is nothing to not like except for MAYBE a climax with yet another all-out aerial battle. The characters are great, the actors portraying them are excellent, and what this movie does for the MCU is fantastic. The only reason Guardians isn’t higher on the list is because the other films are monumental achievements in the history of comic cinema. Though, this does deserve a benchmark all its own.
5. Captain America: The First Avenger
This flick brought to mind old favorites like The Rocketeer (by the same director), and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Not bad company for a movie like this. Where Iron Man and Thor and Hulk focused on the metal of a hero, this summed up perfectly the mettle of a man.

6. Iron Man 3
IM3 started the “darker” trend of Phase Two, and tested the waters for a political message in these movies. If it ends up being the last solo Iron Man movie (at least with RDJ), they ended it in a good place for it to be over there, and to pick up the pieces in Avengers movies.

7. Thor: The Dark World
The darker Phase Two movie that even says so in the title. Watching this and then going back to the first one, you’ll notice how vastly improved everything is, including a more epic and visceral feel.

8. The Incredible Hulk
The Mark Ruffalo Bruce Banner of the Avengers might feel more interesting, and his Hulk more fun, but this early entry into the MCU was far superior in tone, and much closer to what fans are looking for from the Jolly Green Goliath, than Ang Lee’s cerebral mess earlier in the decade. And as the second Marvel Studios movie, it helped to cement the shared universe idea at its conclusion.
9. Thor
This movie might have had the second most difficult job of all these movies after bringing together the Avengers- believably introducing a mythological GOD into the canon that was largely grounded in reality. It was pulled off by taking the “what you call magic is just another kind of science” route.

10. Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2 might have been rushed, might seem a little too much like the first one in the final battle, and seem more of a SHIELD commercial/Avengers precursor, but it’s still fun as heck.

First and foremost, when is Fox (the studio holding the film rights to X-Men) going to just do what they want to do and rename the franchise Wolverine and Those Other People? Ever since the first movie back in 2000, which I’ll get to in a minute, the self-healing, cigar smoking, a-hole everybody loves has grown in popularity and received his, the lion’s, and Professor X’s share of the screen time in these films. Hell, he is the only character up to now to get his own movie(s), which I will also get to in a minute.

The fellating of Wolverine is one of many things fanboys have been upset about with the X-Men movies, upsetting them even to the point of boycott. Though, fanboys are usually all talk as box office grosses will suggest.   There are many issues fans have with the cinematic version of the uncanny mutant force, but I’ll get to that in a minute (I am making a lot of promises here).

The X-Men’s page to screen transition was a looooong one. Though the notion of a movie came along before my time, I can remember as a wee teen nerd, conjecturing in the early 90’s about who could play who in a silver screen romp. I am going on record as saying Patrick Stewart was ALWAYS my (and most nerds’) choice for Charles Xavier. Though, he was everybody’s choice for every bald character. He could have been a great Mr. Freeze. Mel Gibson was a popular choice for Wolverine, Winona Ryder for Jubilee, Angela Basset as Storm, and Michael Dorn for Bishop. I was taking my cues from the X-Men lineup of the day, and the very popular cartoon. My ace in the hole for the cast? Sean Connery as Magneto.

But my dream team wasn’t meant to be, and neither was the movie at that time. Development Hell is called just that for a reason. The X-Men was a nut that many people tried cracking, but just couldn’t get it done. Most of it came from a price tag that would, at the time, be unheard of even for a gamble.   Special effects weren’t there yet, either, and it’s probably a good thing a movie didn’t get made because it might’ve looked like that Fantastic Four movie we shall not speak of. It wasn’t until 2000 that the first X-Men movie premiered to the masses. Patrick Stewart was Charles Xavier, of course, and an unknown was playing the part of Wolverine after actor Dougray Scott had to drop out to do reshoots on Mission: Impossible 2 (I bet he’s still kicking himself in the ass on that one).

From the very beginning it’s being a very “meh” relationship with the X-Men movies. I got excited about them all, and enjoyed them very much to a certain extent. But most of them I kind of get bored with watching them now. Even X2: X-Men United, which was the top tier when it came out, and set the bar for all to follow. Its reign as supreme didn’t last very long really, especially seeing as how the age of the comic book movie is only 14 years old, relatively young for a relatively young art form. But here we go with a short manifesto chronicling the mutant movies over the last 14 years. These are not ranked or measured for greatness or lack thereof, but rather done by the order of release. So here are my impressions of the Peliculas de X-Men.

X-Men (2000)

Like I said, this movie was a big deal. Not only were the X-Men finally making it to the movies, but comic book flicks up to then had been jokey cartoons that didn’t make a whole lot of money unless it starred Christopher Reeve or was about an orphan who dressed like a bat to avenge the death of his parents (though Batman and Robin had already buried Batman by this time). It wasn’t until Wesley Snipes starred as an R-rated vampire hunter named Blade that Hollywood Studios felt comic book based movies were a viable source of revenue- don’t kid yourself, it has nothing to do with artistic integrity. Oddly though, most people weren’t aware Blade was a comic book character, and very few comic book movies (mainstream, anyway) would ever be R-rated, so the logic is very flawed, but that’s Hollywood thinking for you.

X-Men made people look twice.   Here was a director (Bryan Singer) who had directed The Usual Suspects and Apt Pupil, starring Shakespearean actors like Patrick Stewart, and started the movie during the Holocaust. Elements like this allowed the mass audience to see what comic book fans had known all along- here was a great story about a dynamic and compelling group of outcasts, a metaphor for any human rights movement, who protect the very people who shun them.

Not going to lie, the movie was a tad disappointing. The villains attempt to make humans like mutants seemed to go against his ideology of being superior, and doing it with a giant glowy-thingy was pretty hokey.   Plus, they cast Halle Berry as Storm.   The lady has about as much acting chops as a piece of drift wood, and I say that feeling bad about slamming drift wood.   That being said, the movie did its job, and paved the way for more, including….

X2: X-Men United (2003)

Fierce !

…A far superior sequel that was to me what that God-awful Spider-Man 2 was to everyone else. With the exposition of what a mutant is, and who these characters are and what they can do out of the way, Singer returned with his writers to focus on story. And it was a great story. The movie introduced us to William Stryker, played by Brian Cox, as a military man with ties to Wolverine and Xavier’s pasts. Stryker was well aware of mutants, and what side of the debate he was on.   The guy went so far as to invade a school full of children. He was met with resistance by Wolverine, who pulled out his adamantium claws to stab people here and there and everywhere after fans complained his attitude was good in movie one, but he lacked the kick assery he’s known for.

Wolverine also started taking the spotlight in this movie. Where he and Rogue had been the audience’s window into the world of mutants in the previous flick, Rogue becomes a supporting player here so we can talk about Wolverine’s past (which the filmmakers do for like the next five movies).   Other characters start to shine a little bit. Mystique being one. While Magneto is a major player in any X-Men story, including movie one, his plan was sort of stupid in the first outing. Here, we get a much better Magneto- who is he, and what he is willing to do. The moment in which he turns Stryker’s Cerebro around to kill all humans is a level of genocide unheard of. It’s a chilling moment even now.

Of course, like all second movies, there is a Wrath of Khan moment with Jean Grey, and we get a foreshadowing of the Phoenix storyline. Which is picked up in…

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Starring Kelsey Grammer!

…The third in the series, with a title that suggests trilogy (why does everybody have to make an effing trilogy??) Phoenix is explained as a dark corner of Jean’s mind in this flick, directed by Brett Ratner after Singer went to go make the most expensive and shitty Superman movie.  A bunch of people die, including Cyclops, probably because they didn’t know what to do with him like the last two movies so they just killed him off instead of putting forth any effort.   Professor X also dies by being broken down into molecules or something, and giving a smile like he’s being pleasured in his nether region.

The main plot centers around a cure for the mutant gene, the ice guy and the fire guy fight at the end with really bad quips, Magneto moves a whole bridge because he doesn’t have money for a boat, and Frasier makes a pretty good Beast. Of course, Wolverine saves the day and learns to be a part of the team, because the movies are all about him…learning…to be a part of…the team…that the studio…doesn’t care about? Anywho, I actually thought this was a pretty good action flick despite most nerds really bashing the hell out of it. I don’t see it in such a bad light, I guess. Give me the choice between this and the first, and I probably choose this one.

This movie also has a Sentinel head in it when the team is practicing in the Danger Room, the only instance of either comic mainstay being glimpsed to this point in the series.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

This was supposed to start off a bunch of films charting the lives of X-Men before they became part of the organization- either for good or bad. Fox announced Wolverine (who else?) and Magneto as getting their own films.   The whole Origins concept would all but be abandoned (all but Wolverine), and much of the script for Magneto’s movie would be absorbed into what would later become First Class. Seems that material fared far better, because this was a mess.

I concede having a few cocktails before I saw this one, but after seeing it sober I can stand behind the sentiment that I wasn’t that impaired, but it wasn’t all that bad either. The movie is one of the worst examples of continuity issues in the series, which I don’t really want to go into for length and sanity reasons. But there were also too many characters, too many stories, and none of them were developed fully. It was just kind of a jumbled mess, better appreciated with far more alcohol than I had apparently consumed that night.

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Now with Smoulder!

This breath of fresh air in the stale mutant climate was directed by Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake- great movie), and was heads and tails above any of the movies before it. Set in the swinging sixties, our favorite geezer leaders Charles and Erik are young men who haven’t even met yet. Katniss Everdeen plays Mystique and does a great job because she’s awesome in everything. Kevin Bacon is a sinister baddie who torments Erik throughout time, ultimately pushing him to become Magneto. The characters, cast, and plot are fantastic, but unfortunately the flick suffers the forget-ability of its predecessors. I don’t remember much about it except enjoying it.

What I did like about it was that it seemed like a reboot of sorts. While it was produced by Bryan Singer, the universe these mutants occupied would be different from the one that had existed before. Then Hugh Jackman had a cameo as Wolverine. Because Hugh Jackman must be in every X-Men movie. I do admit that I enjoyed the cameo. But his presence, and other things, firmly put this movie in the same universe as the other flicks. Thus convoluting the timeline of the movies more.

Despite very little memory of this new old X-Men, I was very much looking forward to the series continuing.   Perhaps they could go every decade and touch on how mutants affected, and were impacted by, historical events. It sounds like that might be what is going on, too, which is good news to me.

The Wolverine (2013)

Hairy Abs in 3D!

After the much maligned Origins flick, Fox knew they couldn’t dupe the public in making another shitty Wolverine movie a huge hit. And since the rise and success of Marvel Studios, the attempt to make a large connected universe of characters was a tempting opportunity for Fox. So, they learned from their mistakes and let the creative team behind this movie do their thing without much of the reported interruption and interference that bogged down Wolvie’s first solo outing.

This movie went to Japan with the story, borrowing heavily from the ideas of Chris Claremont, one of the modern godfathers of the X-Men. Claremont also helped with the movie a bit. That, along with the hands-off approach, created a much better movie.   Once again, however, pretty forgettable for the most part. Which you shouldn’t be able to say about a movie with a giant Silver Samurai.

The end of this movie had its very own stinger- an end credits scene to the lay person- that reintroduced Picard- er, Xavier, despite the whole being dead thing. Seems he and Magneto, who is also in the scene, are back to bosom buddies and need Wolverine’s help (shocking!).

All that leads to Days of Future Past. This will be a marriage of the modern day cast and the First Class class.   It is a time travel story taken from the comic book of the same name, with Wolverine (changed from Kitty Pryde in the books) going back in time to make Professor X give a shit again and stop the evil Sentinels (really big robots) from destroying mutants and then moving on to everyone else.

What am I looking forward to?   An awesome scene between James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart, another great turn from Michael Fassbender, Halle Berry hopefully getting as little screen and dialogue time as possible, Sentinels, and Peter friggin Dinklage.

What’s scaring me? Unresolved continuity errors (Professor X DIED), Bryan Singer once again directing the most expensive comic book movie to date (money does not a good movie make), Halle Berry getting more than one word of dialogue and one minute of screen time, Quicksilver (though from what I read I might be wrong about him), and putting the emphasis on Wolverine yet again.

In the end, does it really matter? The movie is going to be huge. Which is good for Fox, because they’re banking on an Age of Apocalypse movie, finally getting Deadpool his own flick after the character was shit on in Origins, an X-Force flick which hopefully has Cable in it, and Channing Tatum as Gambit in something.  I’m guessing there’s no chance the rights will ever go back to Marvel, Bub.

You might be thinking enough with talking about Marvel Studios already.  But I can’t.  There’s a reason these are, to me, the crown jewel of nerdom at the moment.  Think about this.  ONE studio, focused on ONE niche genre has produced NINE movies released since 2008.  Nine movies in six years.  And they’ve all been blockbusters, many of which have found a place in the top-grossing movies of all time.

They all might be superhero movies, but they are different unto themselves.  Cap is good example.  The first one is a period piece set during the 1940’s, while the new one is in modern day and harkens back to political thrillers of the 70’s.  None of the Iron Man flicks are the same.  They all have a distinct tone to them.  These movies find ways to keep things fresh while maintaining continuity.

Marvel Studios is hoping that keeps their babies going for a long time to come.  There are currently MCU flicks scheduled for release through the year 2017. A few of them have not been announced, but I’m guessing we’ll see something later this year.  Recently, Kevin Feige (Marvel Studios head honcho and nerdy super-producer) mentioned he’d seen the latest list of what plans are, and they extend all the way to 2028.  I’m not one for counting chickens as the saying goes, but the ones that have hatched so far would lead me to believe that plan is pretty viable right about now.

So in honor of Cap kicking Hydra booty, and Marvel Studios planning flicks into my fifties, here’s a ranking of the chicks so far.  A few things go into the ranking system- my personal favorites, measured by a more subjective look at the craft that went into them, and consideration for what they mean/how they affect the larger MCU.  Feel free to give your list in the comments.  I like comments.

1. Iron Man

This deserves the top spot above even Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, because if this had not worked we wouldn’t be talking any of it.  The (mis)adventures of Tony Stark started not just a franchise, but with a little added sequence at the end of the credits began one of the biggest and most important sagas in cinematic history.  I know Robert Downey, Jr. is thanking his lucky stars, and to those of us who thought he was perfect from the get go we can all say “told ya” to the people who doubted the casting (which was oddly a lot of people).

2. The Avengers

How this isn’t at the top, or second from the top, of anyone’s list is beyond me.  Marvel did what nerds have clamored for for decades, and achieved something that competitor DC hasn’t even been able to get it up for.  One movie merging multiple characters and franchises to bring together Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and the supporting characters fans have loved and come to love over the course of half a decade on the silver screen, and much longer in the comics.  Add in one of the most prominent writer/directors in nerd culture, and you have the biggest comic book movie of all time.

3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I might be accused of favoring this one so high just because it’s the newest entry to the MCU pantheon, but I don’t care.  I’ll admit there might be some rose-colored glasses going on here, but look at this movie on its own and in the context of the others, and tell me this isn’t The Empire Strikes Back or The Dark Knight of the Marvel movies.  Each Phase Two flick has been darker than the predecessors, and I’m going to guess it only gets darker.  I not only want to see what comes in the next Avengers because of this, but the promise of Steve going after Bucky is almost (almost) more enticing right now.

4. Captain America: The First Avenger

Maybe I’m just jonesing for Cap right now, or maybe his movies just seem to be the most unique among the MCU.  This flick brought to mind old favorites like The Rocketeer (by the same director), and Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Not bad company for a movie like this.  All the Marvel movies are about redemption and becoming a better person in some fashion, but where Iron Man and Thor and Hulk focused on the metal of a hero, this summed up perfectly the mettle of a man.

5. Iron Man 3

Spoiler alert- the Mandarin is a flimsy British actor full of booze and drugs.  And I’m fine with that.  Sure I was a little disappointed that the spooky Ben Kingsley of the trailers was a trick, but if you’ve seen the one shot All Hail the King, you know the Mandarin is not something to be dismissed as a serious role for a goofy actor.  Plus, I’m all for not doing literal translations right from the books.  IM3 started the “darker” trend of Phase Two, and tested the waters for a political message in these movies.  If it ends up being the last solo Iron Man movie (at least with RDJ), they ended it in a good place for it to be over there, and to pick up the pieces in Avengers movies.

Thor: The Dark World

6. Thor: The Dark World

The darker Phase Two movie that even says so in the title.  Watching this and then going back to the first one, you’ll notice how vastly improved everything is.  The director, who came from a background that includes Game of Thrones, brought it a more epic look, and made it feel more visceral at the same time.  Plus Thor isn’t a bleached out mess who looks like he has a plastic beard.  Just saying.

7. The Incredible Hulk

The Mark Ruffalo Bruce Banner of the Avengers might feel more interesting, and his Hulk more fun, but this early entry into the MCU was far superior in tone, and much closer to what fans are looking for from the Jolly Green Goliath, than Ang Lee’s cerebral mess earlier in the decade.  Closer to Bill Bixby’s television version, this flick provided us with a Hulk that acknowledged the original sort of, but only enough to continue the story.  And as the second Marvel Studios movie, it helped to cement the shared universe idea at its conclusion (though I still think that should have been at the end of the credits).  The only drawback to this one is all the threads that have been left to wonder about.  Though recently there were passing mentions made of the Leader and Blonsky on the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show. I’d like to see them back on the big screen, however.

8. Thor

This movie might have had the second most difficult job of all these movies after bringing together the Avengers.  This one had to believably introduce and include a mythological GOD into the canon that, despite the science-fictiony elements of the other characters, was largely grounded in reality.  It was pulled off by taking the “what you call magic is just another kind of science” route.  And it worked.  Yippee!

9. Iron Man 2

Being the last on the list is usually bad, and unfortunately something had to be at the bottom.  But it’s not for any negative reason the first MCU sequel goes here.  Iron Man 2 might have been rushed, might seem a little too much like the first one in the final battle, and seem more of a SHIELD commercial/Avengers precursor, but it’s still fun as heck.  When their worst movie is still awesome, you know they’re doing something right.  All I wish is they’d had more Mickey Rourke. And bring Justin Hammer back, already!

Now it’s only fair to do a little preview of what’s to come in the MCU.  These are not in any order of most looked forward to, or relevance.  Just chronological order of release.  I’m guessing by the track record of the flicks so far I’m going to enjoy them, so they’ll get their place on the list when the time comes.

• Guardians of the Galaxy – This damn movie looks like so much fun.  That is all.
• The Avengers: Age of Ultron – The sequel to the most successful comic book movie ever going to darker places after the Earth (universe?) shattering events of the four movies preceding it?  Helmed by the same master as the first one, who excels more the darker the material gets?  Just wondering if we can make it 2015 already.
• Ant-Man – Edgar Wright started the process of making this movie before the first Iron Man.  It finally gets its day in Phase Three of the Marvel Universe.  Test footage of the character in action, and the casting of Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas have this shaping up to be a great entry about a character who is possibly one of the hardest to sell to a general audience thus far.
• Captain America 3 – Much hoo has been ballied about this going toe-to-toe with a Man of Steel 2/Batman vs. Superman/Justice League sequel.  From where Winter Soldier left off, I’m inclined to go with this over that winning any showdown.
• Doctor Strange – He was mentioned in The Winter Soldier!  Marvel mastermind Feige has said the other Steve’s movie is closer than ever.  Phase Three or beyond, it should be good.

Where do rank these movies, and which ones are you most looking forward to?

So what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything at all…is that I’m going to discontinue using that phrase.  It’s starting to annoy me.  However, we are going to retire it with a contest.  Name the Marvel movie in which that phrase is said, and who said it, and you will receive a neat little trinket from yours truly.  Comment here or on the Facebook post sharing this story.

Excelsior!